One of the most, if not the most favorite three words we love to hear from the people we love is “I love you”.
We simply can’t hear these three words enough, especially if we are in love with the person who says it to us.
On the other hand, the words that we dread to hear the most are also made up of 3 words.
And that 3 words would shatter us more than any other words that we hear.
That three words are “Let’s break up”.
Those three words alone can make our hearts race like mad…
It can make us sweat like it’s the hottest summer…
And can literally make us feel like we are going to die on the spot.
Let’s admit it, we all hate to hear those three words.
And the moment we hear ”Let’s break up”, our initial reaction would be to immediately reject it.
We don’t want the breakup.
We don’t want to let the relationship end.
More importantly, we don’t want to lose our ex, especially if our ex left us for someone else.
So, we try all sorts of ways to try and get them to change their mind.
We beg, plead, cry, get angry, get them to be jealous, write a letter to try and convince your ex to change his/her mind, and sometimes even threaten them.
However, these methods hardly ever work.
Your ex is firm about the breakup and tells you that it’s not going to change.
They tell you they will never get back with you again.
And then they suddenly stop contacting you, and you begin to wonder if you will ever hear from your ex again.
And because of this, many people believe that getting their ex back is impossible.
They think there’s no way their ex will now want them back because their ex has made it to them clearly that it’s not going to happen.
However, as hopeless as it may seem, somewhere in their heart they still believe there’s hope.
There’s hope that their ex will take them back one day.
Do you feel the same?
Want me to personally guide you on exactly what to say to your ex to get your ex back?
In order for me to know if I can actually help you, please take the short 2-minute quiz below to find out your chances of getting your ex back now…
Getting Your Ex Back Is The Easy Part
Many people believe that getting their ex back is the hard part.
After all, they did leave you and even told you that they were never going to get back with you.
However, I’m here to tell you that getting your ex back is actually the easy part.
Keeping them after getting them back is the difficult part.
The reason why it’s easier to get your ex back than to keep them once you are back together with your ex is that you already have the qualities that they like about you that made them want to be with you in the first place.
But somehow as time went on, things happened and the magical feelings that were once shared between the two of you are gone.
The key is to bring back those qualities in you that attracted your ex and those feelings that your ex once had for you…
And let them remember these feelings they had for you through your actions and words.
If you can bring back these feelings, you have a very good chance of getting your ex back.
But before you can actually show them the qualities that they love in you, you will have to first stop doing everything that is pushing them away from you.
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So here are 4 proven steps to attract your ex back into your life again.
STEP 1: Stop Anything That Is Pushing Your Ex Away
Many people, after the breakup, do not realize that they are actually jeopardizing the chances of getting their ex back by doing certain things that are actually annoying their ex.
Doing the following will only make your want to run further away from you and be more determined to never want to be with you again:
- Begging or pleading with your ex to take you back.
- Reasoning with your ex on why your ex should still be with you.
- Constantly calling or texting your ex.
- Telling your ex over and over that you love him/her.
- Using logic to explain to your ex what has happened in your relationship and why it’s better to stay in this relationship.
- Threatening your ex or using guilt to make your ex stay in the relationship.
- Scolding your ex to make your ex know how much he/she has hurt you.
- Showering your ex with affection and doing nice things for your ex.
- Crying in front of your ex to make you look pitiful.
- Telling your ex’s friends and family to convince your ex to get back with you.
- Asking whether your ex misses you.
Now, there are many more things that you might have done to try and make your ex want to get back with you…
But chances are that these things that you are doing will only serve to drive your ex even further away from you.
Are you guilty of doing any of the above?
If you are, then you have to stop doing all these things right now.
Stop before it’s too late.
You see, none of the above rarely works because you are trying to make your ex change their mind about their decision.
You are, in fact telling them that they are wrong.
Nobody likes to hear that they are wrong.
By doing any of the actions stated above, you are only going to reinforce in your ex’s mind why breaking up with you was the right thing to do.
If they really wanted to be with you, they would have not broken up with you in the first place.
So, how do you get back with your ex if this is the case?
You have to let your ex conclude that he/she has made a mistake and want to get back with you on their own.
Now, you must probably be saying:
“How on earth is it possible to let my ex realize that it is his/her mistake and have my ex want to get back with me on his/her own?”
Well, you do this by first giving your ex space and time to think things through on his/her own.
STEP 2: Start Limited Contact
Many people often confuse No Contact with Limited Contact. There are various definitions of both of them but here is how I look at them:
No Contact Rule
In No Contact, you stay out of contact.
That means you do not contact them.
When you do not contact your ex, you are using the power of silence to ultimately get your ex back.
And if they contact you, you ignore them.
If they call you, you do not pick up the phone.
If they message you, you do not message back.
Basically, you do not have any sort of contact whatsoever during the No Contact phase.
And the general consensus is that you should at least have a minimum of 30 days of No Contact.
Limited Contact Rule
In Limited Contact, you only do not initiate contact.
That means you do not contact them whatsoever unless for very important reasons that are not related to your breakup with them.
For example, you may have left some important stuff at their place and you need it. In this case, you contact them to just take your stuff.
But if they do contact you, you reply in a friendly manner and show that you are perfectly fine with the breakup.
For example, if your ex messages you:
“Hey, how are you feeling?”. Instead of replying “Not so good. I’m still sad about our breakup and I’ve cried non-stop for several nights”, you reply by saying, “I’m feeling great! And I’m extremely excited about an event I have tonight haha!”.
The difference between the two is that one is meant to make your ex feel guilty about the breakup and what they have done to you…
While the other is meant to shock your ex and make them wonder why you are so happy, as though the breakup has not affected you at all.
So which should you use – No Contact or Limited Contact?
Well, it depends.
I tend to favor Limited Contact more than No Contact because it is much more effective for my clients to get their ex back.
Not only is it more effective but it is also much more natural in the process of getting your ex back.
As an example, if you go on No Contact for 30 days and during that 30 days your ex has messaged you but you chose to ignore it.
Now you are out of No Contact and you want to regain contact with your ex, how will you re-establish contact?
Saying something like:
“Hey, sorry I didn’t pick up your calls or reply to your messages because I wanted to be alone for a while. Now I’m back”
…would sound a bit weird.
And also your ex will probably know that you went No Contact because that’s the most common thing to do after the breakup.
However, while I tend to favor Limited Contact…
It is much tougher to implement than No Contact because you have to be okay with “being normal friends”.
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STEP 3: Be Okay With Just Being Friends
Many people find this the hardest thing to do by far.
I’m sure if your ex has just broken up with you, and your ex tells you to be friends…
Your reaction would probably be to tell them you’d rather be strangers if you two can’t be lovers right?
I know this is hard to do because after all, you two went from “couldn’t get enough of each other”…
…to “nothing but just normal friends”.
But this is the fastest way back into your ex’s heart.
The reason is that being friends is the backdoor to your ex’s heart.
Remember earlier I mentioned that the only way your ex will get back with you is if they conclude that they may have made a mistake and want you back?
Well, you do not let them conclude all on their own.
Rarely is that going to happen.
You need to influence them to make them think that they made their decision all on their own.
And being friends with them and being in Limited Contact with them, allows you to influence them to come to that decision!
To explain this concept, let’s use the example of the insurance salesperson.
Now, I’m sure lots of you might think that all insurance salespeople are all out to “scam” you and to sell things that you don’t need.
I too have had this same thinking initially.
Whenever I see an insurance salesperson come up to me, I’d immediately make an excuse to go away or I’d just walk the other way to avoid having them speak to me.
However, one day I met a friend who happened to be an insurance salesperson as well.
At first, I hesitated to talk to my friend but later on as we talked, we went to the subject of health and children.
As she went on, I suddenly realized the importance of having insurance!
So guess what?
I bought a couple of insurance policies from my friend and I’m glad I did.
The only reason I bought was that my friend influenced me.
She influenced me not in the way of “manipulation”…
But in a way where she made me realize what insurance meant to me.
Due to her influence, I made up my mind that I wanted the insurance.
It was my decision and all she did was to just let me realize that I needed the insurance.
Right now you are pretty much seen as that insurance salesperson to your ex.
But instead of selling insurance…
You are trying to sell your ex your relationship to them, to get back with you.
And that’s why your ex can’t help but run away from you when you do any of the things I mentioned above to try and get them back.
But if you stop selling your ex on your relationship…
And instead, influence them to realize what your relationship meant to them and how important you were to them…
Your ex would come to the conclusion on their own to get back with you!
So how do you influence them?
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Step 4: The Power of Perceived Happiness
You want to be perceived as happy all the time.
You see, everybody loves happy people.
We love to see them, talk to them and be around them.
If you were to walk into a party and you see two people…
One who looks very happy is surrounded by lots of people where everyone is laughing and talking to each other like they are all having fun.
While the other looks pretty depressed, is all alone at the corner of the room, and is constantly looking down on the floor.
If it were you, who would you approach if you wanted to have a good time at the party?
Chances are you’d go hang out with the person who is surrounded by many people and looks happy, right?
So why do we want to hang around with happy people?
Because happy people make us happy too!
We feel alive when we talk to them and we feel good about ourselves as well.
And that is why you want to seem happy all the time.
Now, I know what you must be thinking:
“But how do I be happy if I’m depressed?”
The answer to that is you choose to be happy.
You are not pretending to be over your ex…
But instead, you are choosing not to sulk over your breakup and be happy with your situation now.
Happiness is a choice.
Whether you choose to be happy or sad, it’s all your choice.
While there is an in-depth study on choosing to be happy (which I won’t go into details here)…
You need to know that you do indeed have a choice to be happy.
When you become happy, your ex will start to wonder why you are happy.
“Shouldn’t you be sad or depressed because of the breakup?”
…would come up in their minds.
And this is a good thing.
When you show happiness to your ex…
It will remind your ex of all the good times they had with you.
This is important because most likely towards the end of your relationship with your ex…
You two were probably constantly quarrelling, having disagreements or just plain negative interactions causing lots of unhappiness in you two.
With you now being happy, over time your ex will slowly associate you with how you were when you two just started dating.
Those happy times when there were no quarrels and no fights.
Everyone seeks happiness in a relationship.
No one seeks unhappiness.
And once you have shown your ex this side of you again…
They will “think” that you have changed…
And most likely bring up the possibility of you two reuniting again in their minds.
When this happens, it is only a matter of time before your ex gets back with you.
This has happened to many of my clients.
And if you follow these 4 steps, you too will be on your way to reconciling with your ex.
Last but not least, realize and understand that getting back with your ex is a process…
And not something that you can make happen overnight.
All good things come to patient people.
So, be patient and more importantly, remember these 4 steps all the time.
Your Next Step
Would you like me to personally coach you and guide you on exactly what to do & say in your specific situation to get your ex back?
You see, I get lots of emails every day from people asking me to help them:
And I’ve had many coaching clients that got their ex back as a result of my Coaching Programs. Here are just some of the many success stories from my coaching clients:
And I would love to help you get your ex back as well.
But unfortunately, the truth is that NOT all relationships are salvageable.
So in order for me to determine if I can actually help you get your ex back, please take just 2 short minutes to answer the quiz below, and you will find out if you have a good chance to get your ex back or not:
My lover dumped me for another woman, and i was divorce by my husband with my two son after 8 years of marriage, and also i really love him. What can I do?
I tried so many different things to save my marriage and this certainly helped! Thank you!!!
I brokeup with my ex a week ago, and it was all my fault! I talked to her about her friend, saying that she’s impressing and then she provoked, proposed for breakup than i signed it. Now i’m regretting my mistakes want her back badly.
John S. says
One of the most important thing to be done before you get back to your ex is think and find out the reason behind the breakup. Why did the breakup happen? Who was responsible for it? By finding out answers to these questions will help provide clarity on whether you really want to get back to your ex or not. After you have gone through the no contact period you will be emotionally stable to take decisions and not in a it of anger.
I was with my girlfriend 7 year and start of the relationship started toxic especially when drink was involved then we planned two boys close. I let her down a bit and wasn’t the best partner.then we broke up in February I moved out for 2 months i improved everything i did wrong and became a better person we was fine first of all but then she kept saying she doesnt feel the same anymore and not as loved up cause the spark had gone.im moving back out to give my ex space to think and see what she wants long term because I don’t want to be constantly in and out the same relationship especially for the kids.i love her so much and willing to see if the feelings come back over time.any advice please?as of now I’m stopping the upset desperate me to get her to love me to show her what a happy perfect person I can be to hopefully retract her once again.
Ever since my husband left me my love life was in a mess. And i always through and wish we were together and that he would come back to my life and our love could stay endless. I wanted to fight this war of love without weapons, but then i realize that he has fully made up his mind against me. He no longer call nor text me, i stay up through the whole night all alone without him to talk with. I was ready to walk through hell to save and restore peace back to my marriage. I finally thank God and the whole universe for sending.
I was having some misunderstanding with my husband and it was tearing our marriage apart to the extend my husband do not come home anymore and he was seeking for a divorce. I tried to make things work for us again but he has already made up his mind against me because another woman was already involved and he choose to settle with her.
If we do or don’t do it, someone will laugh
I don’t completely understand. By being friends, do you also mean hanging out together sometimes? Because I kind of had in mind what I was gonna say to him and ask him if we can still hang out as friends sometimes. Will this hurt my chances of getting back together with him?
My ex and I have dated for 10 months, and three weeks ago, he broke up with me for the second time out of no reason. The first break happened after we’ve dated for 4 months. Now we haven’t seen each other for about a month. I stopped contact him after the breakup, but posted a lot of happy and positive things that I’ve been doing on IG. He even liked my pictures. However, a couple of days ago, when I asked him out for a movie, he replied to my text 7 hours later saying that he’s tired. I don’t know what else I should do to get him back for good. Btw, we were a gay couple and he’s 19 years older than me. I have a strong feeling that he’s the one. I just wanna know what I should do. Thanks.
Hi! Im bela. I want to tell you a story. It starts off during my freshman year, where i thought i have found my friend, other half and lover packaged in one. We loved eachother from the start. I was new at the school, so he took advantage of that. I did not know anyone, so it was exactly in his hands. We were cool and made it obvious we should be more! I played hard to get alot of times. Until finally, he just stop chasing. Making my confidence and weight drop. Leaving me then coming back. Making me feel as if i was nothing but a “Inapropriate Girl”, But he had insecurities himself. So he brought it on me
hey, its been a year plus ive been together with my boyfriend and we love each other so much that we are willing to do anything we can to save the relationship. but unfortunately last week my bf told me that he wants to be alone for sometime and he feels like he is not ready for the relationship. he still cares for me and he wished that he would change his mind too. pls tell me what i shall do. if i let him have his time im afraid that he would really change his mind and move on. tell me what i can do.
well me and my start dating about a year and ago, we dated for 6 months, then I broke up with her. but then we drag it on for about a year, then we both call it quits when it almost cost me my job. now its been 3 months of active no contact even know we work together, and I have been rebuilding my self esteem and confidence, I still think about a lot, but i figure it best right now keep my distance and change my actions toward seen i have already try and fail in the past. she also told 3 months not to ever text her. which I have not text for 3 months.
He close up on me for no reson
I broke uo with him two months ago because he was acting up i have been calling him texting him . and he seems not interested whatsoever . i want him back but it seems there is no hope but how can i attract an ex who can get any woman he wants and im an average woman
Hey I’m Brayan I’m 20 years old my ex is 20 as well but I’m older in months we recently broke up she broke up with mi we dated for 3 years and did literally Everything I lost my virginty to her and always like her I know her for about 4 years she is now talking to someone most website consider This as a rebound I need help on getting her back I know she is hurt as much as I am we i know she love mi very much but for now we aren’t in the best terms I need her back with mi what can I do I know she talking to someone less to hide the pain but what steps in order to get her back in order for her to be attracted to me like she was she was very very in love with mi in fact she even said that I was so nice and perfect for her
Learn how to spell first aka “me” not “mi”
Piss off Grim Reaper
We broke up around 4 weeks ago now. I texted and texted him like crazy from I love you to I hate you etc. I feel so bad now that I reacted this way. Is this normal? Will he hate me for this? He was confused originally but now Id say he thrilled to be rid of this crazzzy girl! I want him back and I need other methods to take care of myself and help me to move on and hope he will come back. Just need to know people have done this and got them back!
When I broke up with my ex 2 months ago I did the exact same thing for about a week. But I started improving myself. Making myself look good, working out, doing volunteer work, take lots of pictures and post them everywhere so he knew I was having fun, and perfectly fine without him. Sooner or later he began texting me. Just casually. And then about a month later I told him that I was about to go on a date with a friend of mine and I needed help picking an outfit. He rushed over, looked at me and my outfits, and kissed me and told me how bad of a mistake that he made 🙂 So don’t lose hope!! These steps really do work
Please help me i met my ex when he was in love with a girl for 4 years but the girl was with someone else. Then i came into his life . We were happy . He claimed that he loved me. But suddenly we had a huge fight . After 3 4 days we became normal.but after that fight he started talking to that girl and the girl told that she wants him and my ex is all set to impress her . But my ex is still friends with me is guilty he takes care for me and holds himself responsible for what happened to me. Please help me to get my ex back in my life.