So you have decided that you want to get back with your ex again.
You are determined to make a fresh start with your ex again…
And you have prepared your mind that you will do what it takes to have them back in your life again.
Making that decision is not easy because it is possible to get rejected or even ignored.
After all, they did break up with you.
However, it is not impossible to get them back and the best way to do so is to start dating them all over again.
After all, that’s how you two started and that’s how we want to get started in a relationship with them again.
So here are 5 steps to take to get your ex out on a date again:
Step 1: Realize that the old relationship you had with your ex is over
To start a relationship with your ex again, you have to realize that the old relationship you had previously with your ex is gone.
This is important because you don’t want to go back to the same relationship that got you to where you are right now in the first place.
The reason your ex broke up with you is that they didn’t want to be with you in that relationship in the first place.
What you want is a new relationship with your ex.
One that is built on a different foundation where you learned the mistakes of what to do and not to do in the last relationship.
So come to terms that your old relationship with your ex is over.
You want a new one.
This means when you eventually do go out on a date with your ex…
Do not mention anything of the past because what’s past is past.
You want to create a new chapter in your love story.
And it all begins with the mindset of going into a new relationship with your ex.
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Step 2: Stop everything that is pushing your ex away from you.
Have you been begging or pleading your ex to get back with you?
Or have you been constantly checking up on your ex to see what they are up to?
And have you been doing anything to make them feel annoyed and want to ignore you?
If you have, then you have to stop doing it right now.
All these things are only seen as annoying to your ex.
And it will get them to be more determined to never want to be with you or even meet you again.
So what should you do?
You should leave them alone.
That means no checking up on them or even contacting them at all.
If they contact you, that’s fine, but make sure that you aren’t the one that is contacting them.
When your ex feels that they are no longer being “harassed” by you, only then will they be open to meeting up with you again.
Step 3: Let time pass.
This is important because you need to let yourself and your ex heal from the hurt sustained in the relationship.
Only once you two have healed, can there be room for love to blossom between you two again.
And the best way to do this is to let time pass.
The powerful think about time is that it allows your ex to not only heal but also a chance to miss you.
When you leave them alone and let time pass without you contacting them…
A part of them will start to wonder what you’re up to and even miss you.
Step 4: Start as friends again.
Many people shun this idea of just being “ordinary” friends because they don’t want to be in the “friend zone”.
So they make the mistake of telling their ex to choose between being getting back with them or not even being friends.
This move seldom works.
That’s because if your ex still wanted to be with you, then they wouldn’t have broken up with you in the first place.
So why start with being friends?
Because from here, you can slowly start to attract your ex back again and make them fall in love with you again.
By being friends, you’re letting the backdoor open to make your way back into your ex’s heart again.
If you think about it, you and your ex mostly likely started off as friends before becoming lovers.
So start with being a friend again and from there you can slowly earn your way back into their hearts.
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Step 5: Time to ask them out on a casual dinner date.
This is the benefit of being friends with your ex.
By being friends, your ex will be more likely to go out on a casual dinner with you because they will feel comfortable around you again.
Compared to if you weren’t friends and you suddenly ask your ex out for a casual dinner…
They will feel suspicious and suspect that the reason you are asking them out is to ask to get back with them.
If this is what they suspect, then chances are that you aren’t going to get that dinner date.
Your ex will either reject your request or even just totally ignore you.
We don’t want that.
But as friends, your ex will just think it’s a casual dinner and won’t suspect much.
In fact, your ex has no reason to suspect anything because of how you’re going to ask them out. And this is how you ask them out:
“Hey [ex’s name], my friend just recommended a nice food place called [restaurant name]. Have you tried it yet? If so, is it good?
I want to try it out but everyone is busy this weekend! If you’re not too busy, would you mind joining me just for a quick dinner on [day]?
It would only be for half an hour or so then I got to leave. If you can’t that’s fine.
I’m just trying to find someone to join me because I don’t want to eat alone haha! Let me know so I can reserve seats!”
This message is a very “harmless” message to your ex where they won’t suspect that you have an agenda to get your ex out.
To them, all you wanted to do is just not eat at the food place alone.
Furthermore, you specifically mentioned that you had to leave after half an hour or so.
This way your ex would know that they won’t be stuck there for a long time in case you were planning to ask them to get back with you.
When done right, your ex has no reason to reject or ignore this message of yours.
That’s because all this really seems like is a very casual dinner with a “friend”.
What To Do During The Date
Congratulations! If you have followed all the steps I have laid out so far, you should have gotten the dinner date with your ex.
So what should you do during the date?
Here are a few pointers for you:
- Dress nicely, but not too overly formal as well. You want to strike a good impression with your ex so that you can have more dates in the future.
- Always smile and look happy. Everyone loves to be around a happy person and when you are constantly smiling and looking happy, your ex will perceive that you are different and this can make your ex feel attracted to you all over again.
- Do not talk about the past. As I have mentioned in Step 1, you do not want the old relationship. You want a new one, so no mentions of the past. The last thing you want is for your ex to stand up and walk away in the middle of your dinner date!
- Talk about fun and light topics. Remember back to the time when you two were dating. You were always talking about fun and light stuff and that’s how you need to kick off your first date with your ex after the breakup.
- Leave early. Try not to make the dinner date last more than an hour. We want to keep it short, fun, and positive. This way it will make your ex open to meeting up with you more.
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What To Do After The Date
If you had followed all the pointers listed above, you would find yourself making a favorable impression on your ex.
However, it’s not time to ask them to get back with you yet.
It’s still too soon.
You want your ex and you to slowly ease yourself into a relationship again.
So right after the date, drop them a message once you get home that you had a great time with them and thank them for joining you for dinner.
After that, wait a couple of days and see if your ex initiates contact with you.
If they do, reply in a very friendly and polite way.
Remember that during this time, you are just trying to slowly build your attraction up in them.
So take it slow and focus on light and fun messages only.
If your ex does not message you, wait till a week later and ask them out for a casual coffee again just to “catch up”.
If you had left a favorable impression from the last date…
Your ex will want to meet up with you again because after all, it was pleasurable to see you.
So keep doing this until slowly you build up momentum and attraction in your ex’s eyes.
Follow these 5 steps to get your ex out on a date and soon you will slowly find your way back into a relationship with your ex again.
Your Next Step
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Jake Harmon says
Hi me and my girlfriend are broken up for 4 months now and I just want to know how do I ask her out again. PS we are only in highschool
Ray D. says
bro just dont go back to her immediately firstly avoid a contact for few months after that upgrade ur personality have a nice haircut which suits you dress up like u r grown up post some positve pictures on social media where ur ex follows u dont put pictures on the relationship or any kind of ur relationship with her to make her jealous just put the pictures that u are happy and explorin after that if she tried messaging you thats cool the trick is working and if not then after few months just have a casual talk with her wassup how’s she doing? etc after that talk avoid her for 3-4 days and ask her to have a dinner with you just because the restaurant is new and had she been to that place before if she has ask her about the taste and ask her to join you because u r going to have a light dinner theres no one to join u and after dinner ur gonna go to do some work even if theres no work go home just font let ur ex know about that complete ur dinner within 45 minutes talk to her about the funny things u did together and just dont get into the past about the old relationship just take a light conversation and end it up soon after that leave the place as u r busy and after reaching home text her thank u for comming and u had a amzing time with her after she replied disconnect ur contact with her for 1 week if she misses u as u were funny on the first date she’ll try to reach out to you if not then text her to have a cup of coffee with you nearby if she is not busy with the schedule if she denies just dont force let it go and dont msg her again and again untill she doesnt reach out to u next time ohkk tc god bless you with what u want ..
Amy says
My ex broke up with me about 15 days ago. He said he just “lost interest” and wouldnt really tell me why. I’ve been on a strict no contact since. He hasn’t tried to reach out to me yet, so I have to say that I’m a little discouraged, but I will continue no contact for 2 more weeks. Then I’m going to try to reach out to him. Any suggestions as to what I should say when I first text him??
Anonymous says
Hey (insert name),
How have you been?
Thought it would be a good idea to say hi
It’s alright if you feel you still don’t want to talk right now but I’ll like us to be friends eventually.
It worked for me. Don’t make him wait too long especially if he’s Gemini.
Also, keep it cool and on a friendly level.
Don q says
yes dump his stupid ass and find your self someone that respects you. Love Don
Anonymous says
I have, take it as a learning experience. Your just acting needy now because you
James says
My girlfriend broke up with me with out any reason appart for “we don’t talk” but we did all the time. I am talking to her over text but i get the feeling shes fed up. Im just going to leave it be.
MaGuy says
But I like face book. Its depends on us how we use soacil site for our betterment or for soacil connecting or for masti or for killing our relations. So use it according your moto.
Sebastian says
My girlfriend broke up with me after going out for 7 years. We met in high school when we were 16. She had just moved from another city so she didn’t know anybody. At first I thought that I would never have a chance with her because all of the “cool guys” were trying to get with her. I was just some shy skinny kid with a bad acne problem. We first talked to each other because we were forced to be in a group.
I remember her starring at me and I felt awkward because how could this girl be attracted to me. One thing led to another and we were going out about a week later. I stopped hanging out with my friends just to be with her. We did everything together and I took her out everyday for lunch, we skipped classes just to be with each other, and I was at her house almost everyday. We would tell each other that we were meant to be and that we would live together forever. A few months after graduation my parents had to move to find a job and I went with them. We had problems before, but we both felt that the move escalated the problems.
I would drive two hour to see her every weekend and things were ok. We were eating out one day and I said something that made her break up with me. I called her everyday saying how sorry I was and that I would change. She then started staying at a co-workers apartment with another one of her co-workers because she had some problems with her parents. The apartment she was staying with was with a guy and the other co-worker was a girl. The girl co-worker had to move to another state and she was left alone with him. He wasn’t any good looking but it still hurt knowing that she was staying with him. I would always picture her sleeping and having sex with him. We later got back together and I moved back to where we met and got a job getting paid 5 dollars an hour.
She then later moved back with her parents and we still argued about her moving in with her co-worker. I then later had to get another job because 5 dollars an hour wasn’t enough. Then I moved back to where my parents were staying at because of a good job opportunity. She then later moved in with me at my parents house. We were arguing almost everyday since she moved in. I later got a job where she was working at and even got a house together (we lived together for 3 years). Everything was going fine until later on I started changing. I wasn’t the boyfriend she met, I started being mean to her sometimes.
She always said she wanted to get married and I would always say that it’s too early, that we’re to young (I should have just married her, I’m so stupid). She would sometimes tell me that there would be a lot of guys hitting on her at work or outside of work and this made me a very jealous person. She was always the flirtatious and touchy type. I also started going to a gym and she would tell me that she didn’t like it because I didn’t spend enough time with her. She was right but at that time I was only into myself and what I wanted. I kept on being mean to her and ignored her sometimes she would tell me to stop but I was so stubborn and so dumb.
All the good times we had outweighed the bad times by a lot. Then my father moved to a different state and he told me that I would have a better paying job over there. She didn’t want to move but I wanted to provide a better future for her. When I moved that’s when things slowly started changing. She started hanging out with her friends more, I never really trusted her friends because I always believed that they would show her other people. She then had to go to two different cities for some manager classes that would take about a month. She would still go back home for the weekend though. While she was over there was when she started acting more weird.
She never called me like before and would always go out with her classmates. One day when she came back from her classes and I wanted to surprise her by visiting her. She didn’t have a happy look in her face but I just ignored it. We got home and I started looking around the house and I found a hookah box behind the couch. She was never the type that drank or smoke, but she told me that she had a get together with her girlfriends and they also brought liquor. I also found two bracelet passes to a theme park in the trash, I asked her who she went with and why she didn’t tell about it. She said she went with one of her friends, but the way she told me felt different, like she wasn’t telling me the whole truth.
I think we fought that day because I would think that she brought guys over. I dropped her off the airport the next day because she had to leave to another one of her classes. I saw her putting on makeup and getting super gorgeous and putting on a, kind of see through shirt. I got mad and told her was she had to dress like that and she said that it’s just the style. There was this one day when she was out of class and I was calling her and she just ignored my calls. I called her about 15 times and ignored all of them. She told me that her classmate had her phone and that she ignored them.
I was suspicious and thought that she must have met another guy in her classes. One day I surprised her again by showing up randomly. I go to the fridge and find alcohol in the fridge and that’s when we get into our last argument. I threaten her that I will leave if she doesn’t throw it away and she just stays quiet. I start getting all my stuff and packing it in the car and she says that she’s not going to stop me. I try saying that I’m sorry and she says that she needs a break. I start crying and she’s without a tear about the breakup. On the way back I call her saying that I’m sorry and she says that it’s too late. I start crying my heart out when I get home knowing that the person that I’ve spent so long with is never going to be with me anymore.
I stop contacting her a few days and I begin looking at her facebook. She posts a picture of food that some guy co-worker brought her to work and says that she loves it. I also look at her instagram and blocks me the next day. I call her the following day saying that I’m sorry, lets work this out, that it’s not too late, and that it can be like before. She says that it’s over and it is too late and that she just wants to be single and meet other people and hangs up.
One of my cousins called her and my cousin told me that she sounded happy and like our breakup never happened. I haven’t contacted her for two days now.
I would never have thought that this would happen to me. I always took her for granted and never thought that our relationship would end. I love her so much and I feel really depressed. I can’t eat or sleep, I think Iv’e lost about 10 pounds already and have slept like 8 hours in three days. I’m always thinking that she did find someone else or that maybe she did something stupid when she was in her classes that made her think that being single is better than being with me.
I’m always thinking that she’s sleeping with someone else and it truly hurts just thinking about it. We’ve been through so much. I feel so stupid and I wish I could have been a better boyfriend and told her that I love her everyday. I shouldn’t have moved to find a better job but, I just wanted to spoil her once I started making good money.
I can’t stop thinking about her. I don’t think I’ll ever find somebody like her, ever. I really miss her.
Mark says
I’m going through something like this now, i believe its never too late. Any updates?
Max says
You didn’t take her for granted. You took yourself for granted. She saw that and who can respect someone who doesn’t respect themselves.
Always put yourself and your happiness first.
sam says
iv had a bad week this week, over 6 months post break up, just over 3 weeks strict no contact.
iv got no desire to contact her but i do still have obsessive thoughts about her daily. i am a very obsessive person anyway but her moving on with her ex who she was in touch with throughout our relationship has been a very very bitter pill for me to swallow.
she totally blames me for the break down of our relationship, she was always the victim etc etc & i should have tried harder in her opinion but the fact is she ground me down bad over a period of nearly a decade, it shouldn’t even got to the 1 year mark let alone 1 decade mark, i guess in the end i knew i would be better off out of it than being treat like crap with daily abuse & daily disrespect but now i am out of it & have been for over 6 months im now second guessing as to should i have & could i have done things in a different way to please her ways & make her happy when deep down i know she is emotionally & mentally unstable but i think she has dragged me down to her level.
where as i should be celebrating being out of that toxic & dysfunctional situation with a troubled woman, i instead find myself having thoughts of jealousy, bitterness & what i should have done differently to try make it work between us.
im still very confused & messed up over it, any words of advice would be appreciated
Nathan says
I got involved with somebody that I work with. We both still work at the same company together. We really were never together in a relationship. We just had a fling that lasted about a year and a half but my feelings for her were obviously much deeper than her feelings for me. She is now dating somebody for the past month. It really has destroyed me for some reason. Even though me and her were never in a relationship, we did have sex a couple of times and were intimate with each other on a few other times. We would talk to each other every single day during and after work and see each other outside of work once in a while. She said from the beginning that nothing serious could happen between us. Not only because we work together but also because there is a bit of an age and life situation difference between us. I am 35 never been married no kids. She is 44 divorced and has two kids. Obviously we are both in totally different stages in our lives but her age honestly never bothered me at all. What of course initially drew me to her was her physical appearance. We worked together for 4 years before anything intimate happened between us. I always found her to be extremely attractive but knew that she was married at the time and never even thought of trying to talk to her on a personal level. But then one day she sent me a text about a work issue and we just started texting back-and-forth from then on and it went from there. I really did enjoy the situation that we had together. I knew that I could not be with her in a serious relationship but at the same time I knew that if one day she found someone that I would be hurt. She even told me once that if she did start dating somebody she wouldn’t tell me because she knew that I would be hurt. So here we are today, she is in a month old relationship with some guy who is 50 years old I am alone and feeling completely miserable over the whole situation. I was even in Hawaii last week and all I did was think about her and wish she was there. She sent me a text message while I was there on her own out of the blue to see how I was doing and that mere act of hers made me feel like the happiest man on earth. I asked her if she wanted a present from Hawaii, and I was expecting her to say no but surprisingly she said yes I would love one surprise me. And then we started texting back-and-forth the way we used to for a little bit that day. That made me feel really good. But as soon as I got back yesterday I wanted to talk to her but she told me she could not because she was going to her “friends” House and she was not sure when she will be home. Only today did I find out that it was this guy whose house she went to.
How do you get over somebody that you work with? Obviously NC is impossible in this situation. Luckily for me, she works out in the field (not literally in a field btw) and I work in the office. So I really only see her about once a week if that. But….. I still do have to communicate with her several times a day every day either by phone or by text for work.
It was stupid of me to get into this situation in the first place but it started out with me thinking with the wrong head and then those feelings gradually made there way up to my heart and now I feel heartbroken. I know I said that in the beginning I really didn’t feel like I could have anything serious with this girl but now that I am feeling so heartbroken and miserable about her dating someone else….. If she would call me right now and tell me she would give me a chance for something real between us….I would definitely take it.
Anyone else here been involved with a coworker before and when it ended you were still working together? I would love for others to share their experiences in this matter or perspectives or just advice on how I move past this.
Scouty says
He broke up with me and I really miss him, I wish it never had happened.😖😢😓😭☹️😞