Do you have a good reason to get back with your ex? Well, you need to give a think about this question if you are considering getting back with your ex.
The typical answers I get from my clients:
- I love my ex boyfriend a lot
- I don’t think I will ever find someone like my ex again
- I can’t live without my ex
- I don’t think I will ever fall in love with someone else again
- I believe my ex is the one
- I cannot imagine a future without my ex in it
- I am miserable without my ex
On the surface, it might look like a legitimate reason to get back with your ex. But, when you examine it closely, you will see that it reeks of neediness and desperation. And it is ALL ABOUT YOU and YOU NEEDING YOUR EX. That is, unfortunately, not a good reason to get your ex back.
To understand this, you need to know that your mind is conditioned in the way to do anything to avoid pain, therefore it will trick you into thinking anything just to avoid the breakup pain. So, if I were you, I won’t believe anything that the mind tells you after the breakup.
The above-mentioned reasons are what your mind is trying to trick you into justifying the idea of reconciliation with your ex.
With that being said, there might be many other reasons for giving your relationship a second try. I know a lot of cases where couples reunited after breakup and went on to live a happy life.
Some of my clients actually emailed me and told me that they got back together with their ex and were getting married in a few months.
I also received emails from some readers that tell me that they are back together with their ex now and they have never been happier.
There are hundreds of cases like this.
But, not all reconciliations will work out eventually. Some got back with their ex only to break up again. In cases like this, it is likely that the reason they decide to get back together was one of the above.
So, what counts as a good reason to get back together with your ex?
Below are some of the reasons:
1. It was a rash decision to call it quits
Some people might break up after a big fight or intense argument. In the heat of the moment, people are usually emotional and irrational and tend to make rash decision.
If the relationship was going great, it would be a pity to end it like this because the breakup decision was obviously not carefully thought out.
If only two people could learn to communicate properly and calmly, it could all be avoided.
2. You can see a future in the relationship
This one is a bit tricky because if you are in love with your ex, you will believe there is some potential in the relationship with your ex.
But I still decided to put it here. If you really think that two of you can build a great future together, then it might be worth getting your ex back.
However, just make sure you don’t spend your entire life obsessing over your ex and hoping they will take you back.
3. It was a great relationship between two of you
Every couple has honeymoon period which is the best time of the relationship. Your ex is just perfect in every way in your eyes and your ex will say sweet nothings to you almost every day and you just cannot get your hands off each other.
But, a memorable honeymoon period does not equal to a great relationship. What is a great relationship? A great relationship is built upon respect, trust and love.
Another question you need to ask yourself is that whether you two were happy most of the time when you were still together. Enjoying each other’s company is essential to a lasting and successful relationship.
If your answer is positive, then it would be worth the effort and time to win back your ex.
4. Breakup Due To Certain Unforeseen Circumstances
More often than not, some people break up because of certain circumstances, not because something went wrong in the relationship.
Perhaps one of you had to go to another country or another city for study or work. And your ex didn’t think a long distance relationship would be a good idea.
Other times, you two gave long distance relationship a try but it didn’t work, so you had to break up.
In cases like this, it might be worth getting back together if the circumstances have changed or would change for the better in the near future.
6. You And Your Ex have children together
When a divorce or a separation happens, it is always the hardest on the child. If there is a chance of reconciliation, then you should try it. It would certainly be beneficial for your children.
However, if your ex was physically or verbally abusive, then separation is much better than getting back together. It would do the child more harm to grow up in a toxic and abusive environment.
The No Contact Period Comes In Handy
People are emotional and irrational after breakup, so it’s not possible for you to think logically and rationally about whether or not you should make your ex come back to you again.
So, that is where no contact rule comes in handy. When you cut all communication with your ex for a certain period of time, it gives you the much needed time and space to clear up your mind and get your emotions under control.
You will be in a better position to make any important decisions when you can start clearly and logically.