Each day when you wake up, you feel anxious. You’re heart is beating fast and you keep feeling fearful that you will never get your ex back again.
Questions and doubts race through your mind:
“What if my ex finds someone new?”
“What if it’s too late to get my ex back?”
“What if my ex has already moved on?”
“I’m afraid I will lose my ex for good”
“Does my ex still love me?”
“Does my ex still care for me?”
And with each day, you feel your situation is getting more and more hopeless, and that you will never have a chance with your ex again.
And the biggest question you have right now is “Do I still have a chance to get my ex back?”
Well, let me first ask you this: Have you ever gone to a mall or a shop with no intention to buy anything, but ended up buying stuff anyway?
Many people have. I certainly have. And I’m pretty sure you most likely have as well.
So why is that so?
That’s because we change our minds constantly based on the NEW experiences that we have. You probably really never intended to buy anything. However when you go through the mall, suddenly your attention got caught by something and you get interested in it and end up buying it.
That’s the NEW experience you had once you entered the mall. You never expected that, but the experience in the mall made you change your mind and you bought stuff.
So what does this have anything to do with getting your ex?
Right now, your ex is that person going into the mall. Your ex genuinely has no intention of getting back with you. That’s a fact. If your ex did want to get back with you, you two would already be together.
So similarly, your ex certainly can have a change of mind IF, and only IF, you give your ex a NEW experience that makes your ex feel good towards you again.
Your Ex Can Have A Change of Mind
So what I need you to understand is this: People change their minds ALL the time depending on the NEW experiences they have. Read that again and let that sink in for a little bit.
Think about it – when you were with your ex at the start, I’m sure your ex must have said some affectionate things to you like “I love you always” or “I can’t bear to be without you” or “I’m so glad you came into my life” or other words to this extent right?
But what happened? In the end you two still broke up.
Why? That’s because of the principle that People change their minds ALL the time depending on the NEW experiences they have.
I’m sure you must have changed your mind yourself many times like you said you were going to do one thing but then suddenly certain things happened and you changed you mind about it right? It’s the same for your relationship.
Back then you probably didn’t do what you did towards the end of the relationship. And when you did those things, that made your ex have a change of mind and change of perception of who you were.
Similarly, right now your ex can still have a change of mind as long as you give your ex a NEW experience from here on.
So do you still have a change to get your ex back?
Absolutely so, IF you can get your ex to have a new POSITIVE experience towards you.
And here are 4 steps on how you can do so.
Step 1: RECOVER
The very first step that you MUST do is to take a step back and identify the situation you are in, and STOP doing everything that is pushing your ex further away. This is to prevent yourself from creating any more damage to your situation, and recover from all the damage that you have made.
In short, this is the “damage removal” phase. Only when you have stopped pushing your ex away, can you start pulling your ex back into your life.
To let you understand why this is so important, here’s an analogy for you to understand:
Imagine that right now you are on a ship and halfway to your destination, your ship suddenly has holes at the bottom letting lots of water gush in quickly. At this rate, your ship is going to sink pretty quickly if you don’t do anything.
Right now, that ship is your situation. If you want to get to your destination (which in this case is to get your ex back), what do you think you should do?
A) Move your ship as quick as you can hoping that you will reach your destination first before your boat sinks.
B) Fix those holes first before moving your ship to your destination.
The answer should be pretty obvious that you should first fix those holes before continuing to your destination right?
As easy and obvious as it seems, that’s not what many people are actually doing in their situation right now after their breakup!
Many people are actually, without realising, creating more holes making their ship sink even faster!
So you need to think of what made your relationship gone south in the first place, because those are the objections and fears that’s holding your ex back.
This is very important because when you reach out to your ex, there is a high possibility that your will use that against you and you must be prepared to know how to answer your ex.
No point getting back with your ex only to create the same problems that caused the relationship to deteriorate in the first place, and then end up in this same mess that you’re now in right?
Step 2: RENEW
By RENEW, what I mean is to RENEW yourself.
And what this means is to think about what made your ex fall in love with you in the first place.
If you want your ex back, it only make sense for you to actually know what it was that made your ex attracted to you in the first place.
What were the qualities you had when your ex first met you? What were the things your ex liked about you?
Remember, you had attracted your ex once before, so you need to know why your ex was first attracted to you in order to re-create that attraction in your ex again.
Then you need to become that you again.
Because that is the reason your ex fell in love with you in the first place!
Think about it – back then you were probably very much different from how you are now right?
When your ex first met you, you were probably more positive, fun, and more importantly, you made your ex feel good!
But as time passed, things probably changed. You changed. Suddenly you’re no longer the same person your ex first fell in love with.
It’s like buying a packet of raisins, only to open it and find nuts inside!
What was advertised on the package is significantly different than what was inside the package.
And that’s probably how your ex is feeling towards you now. So you need to become the you that your ex fell in love with, then you can reach out to your ex again.
Step 3: REACHOUT
This is where you finally will make contact. This is going to be the tricky part because you will have to reach out in a way where your ex does not feel threatened or uncomfortable towards you.
The primary objective to reach out to your ex at first is to get your ex to feel good towards you again.
And for this, there is no one single formula that works for everyone because it is very dependent on your situation, and the things that happened in your relationship.
But the main point is that when you reach out, it has to be in a way that is pleasurable to your and that does not make your ex feel uncomfortable. And you must also show that you are not emotionally needy, you mean no harm, and have no ill intentions towards your ex.
So the message to your ex has to be customised to your specific situation in order to be very effective. The objective of this step is to let your ex have a change of perception towards you for the better.
Step 4: RE-ATTRACTION
If you had done Step 3 well, then your ex will suddenly see you very differently than before. And from here, you will execute three phases within this step to be attracted to you again.
Phase 1: This is where you will get your ex to link pleasure to you again, ethically and genuinely. This step is important because it will get your ex to feel really good towards you again.
Phase 2: This is where you will start to create a pattern in your ex to get your ex to be mentally and emotionally dependent on you. When done right, it will get your ex to really warm up towards you. By this time you would have created interest in your ex again.
Phase 3: This is where you will adopt, what I call, the “Friendly Indifferent Mindset”, and strategically get your ex to realise his/her feelings towards you again. Basically this is where the “magic” will happen. And this is where your ex will start to contact you more. Then you will begin to send a carefully structured sequence of messages, that will get your to want to be with you again. When done right, this is where you will finally reunite with your ex again!
These are the 4 steps that I have used to successfully help my clients get their ex to be back with them again.
And if you want your ex back, use these same 4 steps to reunite with your lover again!