How To Get Your Ex Back If Your Ex Told You To Move On

Do you still have a chance of getting your ex back if your ex told you to move on?

I’m sure you probably hate to hear the the words “you need to move on” from your ex’s mouth. So if your ex have already asked you to move on, is it all over?

Let’s really examine this here.

So what does it exactly mean when your ex tells you to move on?

I know it hurts real bad to hear these words from the mouth of someone whom you were once together and so in love with.

Never would you have imagined then that such a day would come. Never would you expect that your ex would actually want to even break up with you.

I know you find it hard to accept the fact that your ex is moving on so fast and so soon, but this is the reality.

One of the most often ask questions by my coaching clients is whether their ex has already moved on. So I want to answer this once and for all here.

The truth is that the moment your ex broke up with you, he / she had ALREADY moved on. If your ex still wanted to be together with you, he / she would not have made the decision to leave the relationship.

This is the first important point I want you to understand. Regardless whether you want to get back with your ex or not, you have to come to terms with the fact that your ex has moved on at the point of breaking up with you.

Now, let’s talk about the “your ex asked you to move on” part.

So did your ex really mean it when he / she asked you to move on? Do you still have a chance of getting your ex back if that’s the case?

The bad news is that your ex REALLY meant what he / she said. Your ex do want you to move on and no longer want to be back with you…

…But here’s the good news: Your ex ONLY meant it at the exact moment when he / she said it to you, and does not necessarily means that your ex will not get back with you in the future again.

Why?

Because people change their minds ALL THE TIME. This is a very important concept to really understand because using this knowledge can help you understand your situation better, and what you have to do to get your ex back.

For example, have you ever made a decision but later on changed your mind again?

You have. I have. Everyone has.

We always change our minds based on the new experiences we have. So, even if your ex doesn’t think two of you would be getting back together now, that doesn’t mean your ex would never change his / her mind ever again.

A good example of this is to think back to when you two first together. When you two first got together, your ex probably said things like he / she will never leave you, or he / she will love you forever.

But what happened?

You two in the end still broke up. That is because things happened along the way in your relationship as time passed, and that change your ex’s perception of you, and that NEW perception of you made your ex change his / her mind about you and decided to end the relationship.

So if your ex has said that he / she loves you before, but now is asking you to move on, then surely we can reverse the situation to get your ex to say that he / she want you back again.

This is why you often hear stories of people breaking up and getting back, or that a couple has been “on and off” in their relationship. So what this means is that it IS possible to get back with your ex, as long as you know exactly what to do from here on.

So the path to get your ex back is determined solely on what you do from here on, and not based on what you had done before. So this is a very important concept to really understand because you can win your ex back IF you start to let your ex change his / her perception of you from here onwards.

Signs That Shows Your Ex Doesn’t Want You To Move On

Let’s first take a look at some of the signs that can tell you that your ex might not want you to move on.

Your Ex Still Contacts You Even After He / She Told You To Move On

So, your ex asked you to move on, but he / she is not leaving you alone. Basically, what your ex is doing is not consistent with what was said.

For example, your ex would message you suddenly, asking you what you have been up to or how you have been.

If your ex is determined that he / she does not want to get back with you, then your ex would not even initiate contact with you and would even ignore all your messages or calls.

The fact that your ex is still talking to you says a lot about what your ex is really thinking about.

So, what is your ex really thinking about?

Your ex is NOT SURE if he / she wants you to move on.

Yes, although your ex did tell you to move on but he / she is not so sure about that anymore. That is reflected by his / her actions of contacting you.

Your Ex Is Behaving Like You Two Are Still Together

Here, I am not talking about your ex holding your hand, or kissing you, or having romantic dinner together with you, as though you two are still together.

What I mean is that your ex would make small romantic gestures that would make you feel like you two are back together again.

Let’s look at some examples below:

Did your ex call you by your pet name suddenly?

Or did your ex say something like “I miss you”?

Or did your ex call you to share interesting things that happened to him / her?

What your ex does can give you some clues about what is actually on his / her mind.

So, if your ex is doing any of the above, it means that your ex doesn’t really want you to move on.

Your Ex Jumps Into A New Relationship But Breaks Up Very Quickly

Your ex gets into a relationship with someone new soon after your breakup. But he / she quickly broke up with that new partner and got in contact with you.

The fact that your ex dumped the new partner so fast and then got in contact with you again means that your ex most likely thinks the new partner does not measure up to your standard.

You probably have heard about the “grass is always greener on the other side” syndrome. This time, your ex probably realised that the grass is not actually greener on the other side.

Contacting you after breaking up with his / her new partner means that your ex is hoping that you won’t be moving on yet.

All these are just some signs that shows your ex might not really want you to move on.

Next, we are going to talk about what you can do to get your ex back.

Before we get to that, I need you to understand something important first.

When your ex broke up with you and asked you to move on, he / she made that decision because of his / her perception of you at that point of time.

When you two first started dating, you two were inseparable and could not get enough of each other. Your ex’s perception of you was completely different at the start of the relationship.

In your ex’s eyes, you were confident, funny, happy and attractive. Your ex was happy in a relationship with you and he / she saw a future with you.

Along the way, certain things happened that changed the dynamic of your relationship. And that caused your ex’s perception of you to change as well, especially towards the end of the relationship.

If you were to compare how you were like at the start of the relationship with how you were at the end of the relationship, can you identify the difference?

Were you still the same confident, funny, happy and attractive you?

Probably not.

That is also what your ex thinks.

Because of this, your ex’s perception of you has changed and he / she no longer feels you two are suitable to be together.

And breakup is the result of this change in perception.

To get your ex back, what you need to do is to change your ex’s perception of you.

So, what I want you to do now is to look back and reflect on what really happened in the relationship.

Then you take out a pen and a piece of paper. On that piece of paper, you draw a line down the middle, and then list down what you were like at the start of the relationship on one side of the line and what you were like at the end of relationship on the other side.

After that, you compare these two side by side.

Do you see a huge difference?

Would you want to be with the version of you towards the end of the relationship if you were your ex?

I believe the answer should be quite obvious by now.

But the good news is that your ex has fallen for you before. These are qualities in you that are attractive to your ex.

If you could bring these qualities out again and let your ex see the version of you that he / she fell in love with in the first place, it would help change your ex’s perception of you. And that will lead your ex to eventually remember the attractive qualities in you and eventually want to be with you again.

Remember, you ALREADY have the qualities that attracted your ex to you. That’s why your ex got together with you. So all you really need to do now is to become that person again and have a solid plan to win your ex back to you again.

Todd says

August 14, 2017 at 1:54 pm

Hi Louise, I went no contact with my ex and after a month I reached out and she was very defensive at first. Even said she hopes I don’t think we are getting back together. But I secured a meetup with her, mostly to spend time with her brother and family. I gave her a gift that I got her before the break up and she loved it. Like loved it to the point of hugging me. After that her and I hung out for a few hours before her brother actually came out and hung out with me. When she went back into her room she told me she was because it was getting hot and she has air conditioning in her room. I said ok and she kinda sat there with the door open a little bit and closed it a few seconds later as if seeing if I’d ask to join. Then Friday night I went in to say goodnight and we talked a lot. She told me how she worried about me throughout the month of no contact, she said that she still cared about me and I still meant a lot to her and that’s why she wants to build a friendship with me. we kind of skipped the friendship building part since we instantly connected when we met, we knew each other before hand but never met in person and the day we met in person was the day that we kind of fell for each other. She vented to me, I vented to her. I drank a bit and said that I was still in love with her and don’t want to see anyone else. She explained why she left me and that she doesn’t want to see anyone at all, said she thought she was cut out for relationships but because of me she doesn’t want one at all. I asked if I should move on and she said she doesn’t know how she will feel in a month and not to rule it out. So after all that I jumped up and said well now that all of our baggage is gone let’s sweep it under the rug and start over! She stuck her hand out and said “hi my name is Alexis!” I grabbed her hand shook it and said “hiya my names Todd!” We both bursted into laughter and she vented a little more about some people she had problems with in the past that are causing problems now. After all of that I said I needed to go to bed and that I’d talk with her tomorrow. She said ok and I asked for a hug, she threw her laptop aside, cleared off a spot on the edge of her bed and threw her arms open. I sat down and hugged her. She hugged me back and actually held me, rested her head on my shoulder and everything! I let go and kissed her on the head goodnight and when I started walking away she grabbed my hand like she didn’t want me to leave! Then saturday, she kinda started becoming cold towards me. Mid afternoon I went into her room and told her I don’t think a friendship would work because I don’t want to pretend I’m still not in love with her. She said she won’t let my feelings affect her, the only way they will is if I push it, I’ve pushed her away enough in the relationship and I can’t do it anymore unless I actually try. I asked her again, should I move on. She said I should. It felt like a stab to the heart. After that I got super drunk after finishing making her family dinner and we all had an American pie marathon. I could catch her looking at me every now and then. Her mother went out for a smoke and her step dad didn’t wanna go out with her, so I did and explained what I said and how I screwed up. Apparently Lexi already talked with her mom about what I said that day and her mom said “I’m going to tell you what I told her, all wounds heal with time. Slow down, develope the friendship she wants, and if it was meant to be it was meant to be. And it will happen.” She hugged me and we went back into the living room and finished the movie. Then my buddies girlfriend calls because she is having problems with her insecurities and I used my relationship with Lexi to explain how she was beginning to act like I did. So after that I went into her room to say goodnight and began talking about helping my friends girlfriend and just kept talking, she then compared me to a character from American pie who just talks and talks and doesn’t stop. So I took the hint, she said it’s not because she didn’t want to talk to me, it’s because she was worn out and wants to be alone. Then yesterday she was around me more, and when we were alone I asked her why she began being cold to me, she said she wasn’t. So i said what do you call this then, she said wanting to be alone. So I asked why she was so happy to hang out with me Friday then all of the sudden don’t want to look at me let alone hangout “as friends”? She replied with “I don’t want to hang out with you right away because when I look at you I feel like my heart is breaking all over again.” I nodded and said “I don’t expect you to believe me. But I will never hurt you like that again. I believe myself when I say that, you don’t have to believe me and you have every right not to. But I’d rather be your friend than lose you forever. She said that to me Friday night so I fired it back at her. She just kinda sat there silently and she kinda curled up and put her fist on her mouth and was looking into space. I know that she was trying not to cry. She went back into her room and when I left I went in there and said I was about to leave. She said ok. I said I didn’t want to go without saying goodbye to her. She said ok. I asked for a hug and she said give me a minute cuz she was playing a online game on minecraft (she loves that game) and couldn’t pause so I had to wait for her to finish. She did and half assed like put her arms out, I sat down and hugged her, she just kinda rested her arms around me, not really hugging me like she means it, but still rested her head on my shoulder. I then said “I have no right to ask, but I’m going to ask you to trust me when I say I’m becoming a better man, I understand if you won’t and I won’t be hurt if you don’t. But I’m asking anyways. She pulled away and said, that trust has to be earned. My mother and grandmother thinks she is stringing me along but I don’t believe she is. Is she not over the relationship? It’s been over a month since we broke up. I could tell she meant every word Friday night. I don’t know if she is being hot and cold towards me or is just trying not to hurt me. Please help!

Comments

Todd says
August 14, 2017 at 1:54 pm
Hi Louise, I went no contact with my ex and after a month I reached out and she was very defensive at first. Even said she hopes I don’t think we are getting back together. But I secured a meetup with her, mostly to spend time with her brother and family. I gave her a gift that I got her before the break up and she loved it. Like loved it to the point of hugging me. After that her and I hung out for a few hours before her brother actually came out and hung out with me. When she went back into her room she told me she was because it was getting hot and she has air conditioning in her room. I said ok and she kinda sat there with the door open a little bit and closed it a few seconds later as if seeing if I’d ask to join. Then Friday night I went in to say goodnight and we talked a lot. She told me how she worried about me throughout the month of no contact, she said that she still cared about me and I still meant a lot to her and that’s why she wants to build a friendship with me. we kind of skipped the friendship building part since we instantly connected when we met, we knew each other before hand but never met in person and the day we met in person was the day that we kind of fell for each other. She vented to me, I vented to her. I drank a bit and said that I was still in love with her and don’t want to see anyone else. She explained why she left me and that she doesn’t want to see anyone at all, said she thought she was cut out for relationships but because of me she doesn’t want one at all. I asked if I should move on and she said she doesn’t know how she will feel in a month and not to rule it out. So after all that I jumped up and said well now that all of our baggage is gone let’s sweep it under the rug and start over! She stuck her hand out and said “hi my name is Alexis!” I grabbed her hand shook it and said “hiya my names Todd!” We both bursted into laughter and she vented a little more about some people she had problems with in the past that are causing problems now. After all of that I said I needed to go to bed and that I’d talk with her tomorrow. She said ok and I asked for a hug, she threw her laptop aside, cleared off a spot on the edge of her bed and threw her arms open. I sat down and hugged her. She hugged me back and actually held me, rested her head on my shoulder and everything! I let go and kissed her on the head goodnight and when I started walking away she grabbed my hand like she didn’t want me to leave! Then saturday, she kinda started becoming cold towards me. Mid afternoon I went into her room and told her I don’t think a friendship would work because I don’t want to pretend I’m still not in love with her. She said she won’t let my feelings affect her, the only way they will is if I push it, I’ve pushed her away enough in the relationship and I can’t do it anymore unless I actually try. I asked her again, should I move on. She said I should. It felt like a stab to the heart. After that I got super drunk after finishing making her family dinner and we all had an American pie marathon. I could catch her looking at me every now and then. Her mother went out for a smoke and her step dad didn’t wanna go out with her, so I did and explained what I said and how I screwed up. Apparently Lexi already talked with her mom about what I said that day and her mom said “I’m going to tell you what I told her, all wounds heal with time. Slow down, develope the friendship she wants, and if it was meant to be it was meant to be. And it will happen.” She hugged me and we went back into the living room and finished the movie. Then my buddies girlfriend calls because she is having problems with her insecurities and I used my relationship with Lexi to explain how she was beginning to act like I did. So after that I went into her room to say goodnight and began talking about helping my friends girlfriend and just kept talking, she then compared me to a character from American pie who just talks and talks and doesn’t stop. So I took the hint, she said it’s not because she didn’t want to talk to me, it’s because she was worn out and wants to be alone. Then yesterday she was around me more, and when we were alone I asked her why she began being cold to me, she said she wasn’t. So i said what do you call this then, she said wanting to be alone. So I asked why she was so happy to hang out with me Friday then all of the sudden don’t want to look at me let alone hangout “as friends”? She replied with “I don’t want to hang out with you right away because when I look at you I feel like my heart is breaking all over again.” I nodded and said “I don’t expect you to believe me. But I will never hurt you like that again. I believe myself when I say that, you don’t have to believe me and you have every right not to. But I’d rather be your friend than lose you forever. She said that to me Friday night so I fired it back at her. She just kinda sat there silently and she kinda curled up and put her fist on her mouth and was looking into space. I know that she was trying not to cry. She went back into her room and when I left I went in there and said I was about to leave. She said ok. I said I didn’t want to go without saying goodbye to her. She said ok. I asked for a hug and she said give me a minute cuz she was playing a online game on minecraft (she loves that game) and couldn’t pause so I had to wait for her to finish. She did and half assed like put her arms out, I sat down and hugged her, she just kinda rested her arms around me, not really hugging me like she means it, but still rested her head on my shoulder. I then said “I have no right to ask, but I’m going to ask you to trust me when I say I’m becoming a better man, I understand if you won’t and I won’t be hurt if you don’t. But I’m asking anyways. She pulled away and said, that trust has to be earned. My mother and grandmother thinks she is stringing me along but I don’t believe she is. Is she not over the relationship? It’s been over a month since we broke up. I could tell she meant every word Friday night. I don’t know if she is being hot and cold towards me or is just trying not to hurt me. Please help!

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