This has been a burning question on most of my female readers’ mind. The good news is that it is possible to make your ex boyfriend miss you badly after breakup. The not so good news is that it is not an easy task because it requires time and effort and it also needs you to follow the steps closely.
The Purpose Of Making Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You
Getting your ex boyfriend to miss you is an essential step in getting him back with you again. When he starts to miss you badly, the thought of wanting you to get back with him will inevitably come to him.
I have always advised my clients that the best way to get your ex boyfriend back is to directly and indirectly influence him to bring up the idea of giving the relationship a second try, especially if it was his idea to end it in the first place. This way, the renewed relationship has a better chance of succeeding in the long term.
Step 1: You Need To Give Your Ex Boyfriend Time To Miss You
This is also where the no contact rule comes in. When you think back to the time when you and your ex boyfriend first started seeing each other, did you find yourself missing him when even you two were apart for even a couple of days, and you cannot wait to see him again?
That is the power of absence because you are used to him being there so much that you cannot bear to not have him around, even if it’s only for a short while.
So, the first thing you need to do is to stop contacting him for at least a couple of weeks. If you are constantly in contact and making yourself very available to him, it doesn’t give him a chance to actually miss hearing from you or miss seeing you.
Cutting off communication temporarily means you should refrain from texting and calling your ex boyfriend. Sometimes it is difficult for you to do that, I know.
But, you need to exercise self-control and think about the big picture which is to get back with your ex. A moment of weakness can ruin all your previous efforts in saving your relationship. So, stay strong.
Step 2: Take Control Of Your Emotions
We women are not famous for taking control of our emotions. Especially right after a breakup, women are usually an emotional mess.
Have you ever found yourself crying to sleep night after night? Or have you had the urge to just pick up the phone and call your ex boyfriend to tell him that you miss him and you want him back? Or you just cannot stop checking his social media profile every five minutes to see what he has been up to?
Do you recognise a pattern there? Yes, that is a girl who has allowed emotions to take hold of her.
Ask yourself this – Would you be attracted to a girl like that if you were a guy?
Chances are that you’ll probably not because no guys will be attracted to a girl with low self-confidence.
So, it is very important for you to understand the power of being emotionally calm and in control.
Step 3: Focus On Yourself
Take your focus away from your ex boyfriend and start focusing on yourself. It might seem a bit counter-intuitive at first, but this is an essential step in making your ex boyfriend miss you and want you again. I will explain it in detail later.
First, let’s take a look at how you can focus on yourself and transform yourself into someone whom your ex-boyfriend will fall in love with all over again.
Make Yourself Physically Attractive
All guys are attracted to beautiful women, so we can use that to our advantage. Now is the time for you to do some shopping and get yourself new and sexy outfits. It will also be a good idea to go to hair salon for a new hair style.
By getting a different hair style and new outfits can make you feel like a brand new person. This sense of being refreshed will be apparent to the people around you, including your ex boyfriend. When he sees the “new you,” he wishes to see you more.
If you have not been going to gym for a long time, maybe you want to start hitting the gym regularly. Exercise will not only help you look fit, it will also help re-energize yourself and restore your self-confidence.
Become A Happy & Positive Person
No one likes to hang out with a sad and negative person. To make your ex miss you and want to be with you again, you need to project a happy and positive image of yourself.
Remember, happiness is actually a choice. If you are not happy, it is actually your choice to feel unhappy. No one can make you feel the way you are feeling unless you give them the power to do so.
There are many ways to become a happy and positive person. First of all, you need to get rid of all the negativity in your life. That means you should consciously stop yourself from using negative words and also thinking negative thoughts. If we allow ourselves to indulge in the negative thinking, it will just trigger a downward emotional spiral.
Have Fun & Go Out More
Next, you need to put more fun into your life and go out with friends more. This shows your ex-boyfriend that you are a fun loving person and you can enjoy life without him. Take photos of you having fun with your friends and post these photos on social media sites.
If your ex boyfriend is still friends with you on Facebook or Twitter, chances are that your ex boyfriend will see it. This will have a very powerful psychological impact on him.
First, he will start wondering why you don’t seem to be affected by the breakup at all. Also, it helps lower your ex boyfriend’s defense when you re-initiate contact with him later on because he is “convinced” (by all the fun photos you posted ) that you are not going to be the clingy, needy and desperate type of ex-girlfriend.
Okay, so why we should focus on yourself rather than your ex boyfriend in order to make him miss you? The reason is because when a person misses you, it is the good memories or good feelings you created when he was with you, that is making him want more of you and yearn for your company or presence.
Let’s look at an example. Why do you miss your ex boyfriend? Is it because you miss the feeling of being loved when he was with you? Is it because you miss all the fun things you two did together? Or is it because you miss the way he used to make you feel?
The same logic applies to your ex boyfriend. If you were to make him miss you, you would need to remind him subtly of the good memories you once had or the good feelings he had when he was with you.
By focusing on yourself to become physically attractive, happy and positive, you remind your ex boyfriend why he fell in love with you in the first place. That will bring back all the good feelings he once had when he met you.
Step 4: Re-initiate Contact With Your Ex Boyfriend
Now comes the important part of our plan. Remember that you should only re-initiate contact with your ex boyfriend when you are emotionally ready. If you don’t feel ready to meet your ex in person, don’t force yourself. Give yourself more time because the last thing we want is to have an emotional meltdown in front of your ex.
When you decide to re-initiate contact with your ex, it is a good idea to text him first and start a light-hearted and fun conversation. Make sure that you don’t send any of the generic and boring type of text messages.
A good example of an interesting text message would be something that reminds of your ex boyfriend about an inside joke or some good old memory of you two together.
Such a text message not only lets him think back to all the good times spent together with you, but it also engages him in the conversation and makes him want to carry on the conversation with you.
After you start talking to your ex boyfriend, you should avoid making the mistake of communicating with your him too frequently, telling him that you miss him, and also bringing up the topic of your relationship.
What you should do instead is to keep the conversation short, positive and fun. This will make him want to hear from you again.