Facebook has now become such an integral part of lives that it is almost unimaginable that a day goes by without logging on to it.
We want to know what our friends are doing. We want to see the pictures our friends have shared on their page. And if our ex just broke up with us, we can’t help but want to know what they are doing every single day.
Have they found someone new? Do they still miss me? Have they moved on? And tons of other questions that run through our minds to the point of almost driving us insane.
It’s tough, I know.
We are sometimes even tempted to message them on Facebook. We want to tell them we have changed or that we still care about them.
Or worse, when we see photos of them having fun with the opposite sex, we want to know who that person is and even start making the mistake of demanding an answer from them.
While you may feel justified that you should do all these, unfortunately, it will only chase your ex further away from you. Then, it defeats the very purpose that made us want to contact them in the first place – to get them to love us and to be back into our lives again.
So, what should we do instead to have a chance of reuniting with them again?
Luckily, there’s a way. In fact, there are 4 ways to significantly increase your chances of bringing your love back into your life again with Facebook!
Here are the 4 powerful ways to get your ex back with Facebook :
1) No negative or hurtful posts.
Do not post any sad or hateful posts about your ex. This is extremely important. We do not want to be seen as the victim or engage in any unnecessary quarrels online with your ex.
Imagine if you were to make a sad post on Facebook. Chances are that your close friends and family upon seeing the post will start asking you all about it. And when they do, you start to pour your hearts out to them.
This is self-defeating for one reason – it will not make you feel any better and you may in fact feel even worse. The reason is because you are actually indulging in your pain rather than finding a solution. And by indulging in your pain and sadness, you get even more immersed which in turns enhances the feelings and emotions of sadness, sorrow and loneliness inside you.
Here’s what you should do instead.
You have to see yourself like an athlete with one goal in mind – to win. And in your case, to win your ex back. Do you see the athlete who wants to win the Olympic Gold complain constantly or indulge in the pain and struggles of their training? Not at all.
Athletes are focused on only giving their best in their training, so they stand a chance to win. So like athletes, you should remember that your goal right now, is to do what is necessary in order to get your ex back.
Also, such posts and messages will only push your ex further away from you. Why? Because you will look weak in your ex’s eyes.
Have you seen anyone who is attracted to another person because they look weak? Most likely not. In my years of helping clients like yourself, I have never seen this even once. In fact, they may even feel irritated after seeing such posts.
So stay clear of making such kinds of posts.
2) Do not private message them.
I know it will get weird whenever you log on to Facebook and see that your ex is online, and you know that they can see you online too. But they don’t message you.
You wait a couple of minutes, thinking maybe they have yet to notice you are online too and hoping they will message you.
Thirty minutes to an hour goes by and they still haven’t messaged you. Surely, they must have seen that you are online right? “So why haven’t they messaged me?“, you think to yourself.
Then suddenly, they go offline.
You feel angry, sad, or maybe even betrayed. You now can’t help it but want to message them and ask them tons of unanswered questions you have in your mind.
It’s very tempting, I know. But don’t do it.
If you still want to have any chance of getting back with your ex at all, I stress, don’t message them!
When you do that, you are actually pushing your ex further away. You see, they already know that you are going to ask them tons of questions like, “do you still love me?” “can we give it another try?” “If I change, will you get back with me?”, etc.
That also includes seemingly harmless questions like, “what did you do today?” “who did you go out with last night?” “what did you eat for dinner?”, etc.
These are the kind of questions that scare the wits out of your ex. Not only will they have to keep coming up with excuses, and they might even think that you are checking up on them or even stalking them! All these will only make them feel annoyed.
And what do you think your ex will do if they feel annoyed?
They will run. Far from you. Faster than you can imagine.
Which is why it’s important NOT to message them at all.
So what should you do instead? Read carefully because the following tactics are very powerful when used correctly…
3) Post fun pictures of yourself.
Start getting yourself involved in a new and fun activity and meet new friends, especially of the opposite sex if possible. I generally advise my clients to take up a new sport.
Then while you are genuinely having fun and enjoying yourself, take a group photo. If you go out on a group dinner or just out for drinks with your new found friends, take pictures. Lots of pictures. Then take these pictures and upload to your Facebook page.
Chances are if your ex have you in their news feed, the pictures of you having fun will automatically show up on their homepage and would immediately catch their attention.
And especially if you are amongst friends who are of opposite sex, the effect is even much greater.
So why do all this?
You see, when your ex broke up with you, do you think they will expect you to be happy or sad?
They would probably expect you to feel sad, right?
Then when they suddenly see pictures of you having so much fun, they will start to wonder why aren’t you affected by the breakup at all.
Now, instead of you having lots of questions in your head, you have turned the tables on them and now they are the ones scratching their heads wondering why you are so happy!
And if they see someone of the opposite sex with you too, they may even start to get anxious because in their minds, they may think that you have moved on and did not expect you to move on so fast.
You might now be asking, “But wouldn’t this make my ex go further away from me after seeing me having a fun time with the opposite sex?”
Nope, absolutely not. In fact, it will only draw them closer to you.
Here’s the psychology behind this: When your ex broke up with you see that you may potentially get someone new, they will start to feel a sense of “ownership loss”. It’s like you once owned something and because you chose to let it go and is now owned by someone else, you now have a sense of regret and wished you hadn’t done so.
This is the same feeling your ex will have. In fact just only recently, I had a client that went through the very same thing. My client’s ex broke up with her and immediately another guy started chasing her. That guy would go out with her for dinner and drinks and they took several pictures together.
The guy then posted those photos of them and tagged her on Facebook. And because she was tagged in those photos, her ex could see them in his feed and upon seeing those photos, he immediately contacted her and decided to get back with her!
Use this technique of “ownership loss” on your ex as well and don’t be surprised if your ex suddenly contacts you! When I taught this tactic many of my clients, their ex literally messaged them within minutes of posting those pics too. So it can just work wonders for you as well!
But be warned…you must be prepared to know how to reply them otherwise you might jeopardize your chances of getting back with them.
And to make this impact even stronger, you should…
4) Post fun and happy posts.
So, for example if you took up a new sport like tennis, you can add a message to your fun picture like “Let’s do this again guys next week! This time I’ll win for sure!”.
Why write messages like these instead of sad or hateful messages?
Again this is psychological. When your ex expects you to be sad, all of a sudden you have disillusioned them by posting pics and messages of yourself having a great time and being so happy.
This does two things – Firstly, it makes your ex start to wonder why you are so happy almost as if your breakup didn’t affect you at all.
Secondly, and more importantly, it makes you attractive again. Let me ask you this: would you rather be around a person that is sad and gloomy or someone who is jovial and full of energy?
Obviously the latter. And when your ex sees this, he will be reminded of the fun times you two had together. This is when your chances of getting your ex back increases.
So, now that you know the 4 powerful ways on what to do and what not to do to get your ex back, start implementing it and let me know how it goes!