So, you are in pain and you cannot stop thinking about him. You feel you won’t be able to fall in love again. All you want right now is to get him back no matter what. You asked him to take you back, but he said let’s just stay friends.
You tried to call him or text him, You kept checking your phone every few seconds for any reply from him, but he either took very long to send you a short reply or just completely ignored all the calls and messages. You started to feel desperate and depressed and hurt because you just don’t understand why a guy who once stayed up all night talking to you and loved you so much is being so cold to you.
Every guy you meet after the breakup, you cannot help but compare them with your ex. All these guys just seem uninteresting and cannot match your ex. This just makes you feel worse and want your ex back more.
It’s time to get him back and make the relationship work this time.
There’s a reason you are now the ex girlfriend, so you need to erase that reason out of his memory.
Take some time first to think about the questions below( be honest with yourself when you answer them):
- What went wrong in your relationship?
- Why did the relationship end?
- What was he unhappy about the relationship?
If given the chance to start over again, what would you do differently to make it work this time?
What did he like the most about the relationship? What about you?
We rarely know how much we love that one person – until we lost him.
You two fell in love with each other. There must be something in you that attracted him in the first place and connected two of you together.
- Why and how did you two fall in love with each other?
- Why did he fall out of love?
- Did you two just get lazy and stop making effort to keep the spark in the relationship?
You need to answer these questions truthfully. The reason for doing this is that we need to know if you really want to get him back and if you are just lonely right now, but deep inside you know that it probably won’t work out if you get back together? Read Are You Getting Your Ex Back For The Right Reason?
You need to believe in the possibility of you getting back together with him again if you are determined to give your relationship a second chance. If you are having second thoughts about getting back together with your ex, then it’s not worth trying to get him back.
Step 1: You Need To Stop Contact For Some Time
Step 2: Get better & Make Yourself More Attractive
So, you need to look better and hotter. You need to look so amazing that he kicks himself for ever leaving you and feels terrible that he cannot have you any more. Renewed physical attraction could be a huge motivator for him to want to get back with you. For it to work well, it is best that you don’t see him for at least a few weeks.
Once he sees the new and sexy you, he will simply be blown away. Desire kicks in, and he feels like an idiot for breaking up with you. It might sound superficial and shallow, but remember that most guys don’t think with their brain, they think with their bottom half of their body.
Even if he can resists the temptation at first, it can still help improve your chances of winning him back. I can say for sure that he won’t stop thinking about you after bumping into you.
Step 3: Accept Breakup & Forgive Each Other
To get back together, you need to first accept that you two broke up and the relationship ended. Next, you need to learn to let go and forgive each other if you want to start all over again. Without forgiving each other and wiping the slate clean, it will be difficult to start anew.
No matter what caused the breakup, either party must have contributed to the failure of the relationship. No point dwelling in the past and blame each other. The right thing to do is click the reset button. Now that you’re starting over, you’ve learned from your mistakes, but you can continue on only when you manage to forgive.
Step 4: Make Positive Changes
If you’re seriously thinking about getting back and making the relationship work this time, then you must make some changes. It is easier said than done, but you need to understand that it is an absolutely must if you really want your relationship to be better than last time.
You might have heard this saying ” Insanity is doing the same things over and over and expecting a different result.” If you keep doing the same thing, the chances are that you would get the same results for the relationship.
So, you need to figure out what went wrong in the relationship. What could you have done better or differently? Were you so controlling, or were you always jealous and suspicious of your guy cheating on you? Or were you guilty of getting angry at him over trivial stuff all the time? Or did you cheat on him?
To convince him that this time is different and you are different now, he needs to be able to see the change ( not telling/promising him that you will change!!) You are doing this not just for him, but also for yourself and for your future relationships.
Step 5: Make Your Ex Jealous In A Smart Way
Jumping into a rebound relationship might not help if you are still very in love with your ex. It will just make yourself feel even worse and also hurt the new guy’s feelings. So, what you can do is to hang out and socialize with new guy friends.
Please don’t do this with the sole purpose of making your ex jealous. You need to start going out more to enjoy yourself and have fun especially after the breakup. It can do you good for two reasons.
First, it can help break your negative emotional cycle. Second, you get to see that you can have your own life and enjoy it without your ex. It will help build your self-confidence which is vital in getting your ex back.
Step 6: Get In Touch With Your Ex
Now is time to get in touch with your ex. Please don’t sleep with him when you two meet up again. It is a wrong move if you want to get back with him and keep him.
What you need to do instead is to make him desire you again by throwing in some temptations. You will get him thinking about you all day. Just like when you first met with each other, try to create the spark between you again.
When you meet up for coffee, avoid talking about the breakups and avoid talking about anything negative. Instead, ask him what’s new in his life. Keep the conversation positive and light. We need to make him feel good about meeting up and want to do it again.