Mistake No.1: Begging Your Ex To Take You Back
More often than not, the very first thing they will do is to beg their ex to take them back. Time to wake up! IT WON’T FREAKING WORK.If begging works, no one will ever break up with anyone.
If your ex has decided to end the relationship, no amount of begging or pleading or using pity will get your ex to come back to you. It will only make you look insecure and needy. SO, stop it NOW if you ever want to get back with your ex.
Also, quit having the illusions that if you show your ex that you are miserable and cannot live without your ex, they will get back with you. Be self-conscious when you are thinking about using pity to get your ex back.
Believe me when I say this. No one is attracted to someone who is weak and miserable. And even if your ex came back because of all your begging and self-pity, do you really think it would last? It is only a matter of time before he/she breaks up with you again.
Mistake No.2: Calling & Messaging Them Constantly
A lot of people wonder why it is important NOT to contact your ex constantly if you want to get back with your ex. Their intuiton tells them that if I stop contacting my ex, they will soon forget about me and move on to a new relationship. Don’t let your intuitions screw with you. Does the scenario below sound familiar to you?
” I text him everyday but he barely replies. I have to message him a hundred times before he replies just once. I really love him and I can’t stop thinking about him. I just want things to be like what it used to be. But he is pulling away from me and ignoring my messages. Why is he behaving like a totally different person?”
Every time you call or text your ex, it just shows them you are needy and you are miserable without them. This neediness is unattractive and will only push your ex further away. It’s a BIG mistake to contact them even once
Also, you should NEVER drunk call your ex in the middle of the night and make a fool of yourself. So whenever you go out drinking, have a friend with you who can stop you from doing this.
But if I don’t call or text my ex, how can I get my ex back?
You should contact them in certain way that will make them feel attracted to you again. I explain exactly how to do this here.
Mistake No.3: Being a doormat!
You might probably be thinking if you just agree to everything your ex wants, you will get back together.
You agree to the most ridiculous demands your ex has. You think it’s OK to let your ex walk all over you. You think it is okay to become a doormat. Because having your ex back in your life is the only thing that matters.
But, guess what?
Agreeing to everything your ex says is not going to bring them back. In fact, it’s only going to make your ex respect you less. Nobody wants to be with someone they don’t respect. And even if they do come back, they will leave shortly realizing they have no respect for you as a person.
Mistake No.4: Showering Them with Attention & Love
Your instincts tell you that if your ex just realizes how much you love them and how much you care about them, they will come back. You just need to make them believe that no one in the world will ever love them the way you do. How can they reject you once they realize how much you love them, Right?
The truth is, they already know that you love them, how much you adore them and how much you care about them. But they still decided to breakup. Showering them with affection is not going to help you. In fact, the more you smother them, the more trapped they’ll feel. And that will just make them want to get away from you as soon as possible.
Mistake No.5: Drowning yourself in self-abuse
It is much too common for people to drown in their sorrow with alcohol, drugs or anything of that nature.
This is NOT the time to start being self-destructive.
You need to be in the best shape you can be right now.This means eating healthy, exercising, getting out of the house etc. Substance abuse is not only bad for your body; it will only make you feel worse in the long-run.
Mistake No.6: Not Taking Action To Change Yourself for The Better
Doing is more powerful than talking.The best way to start changing yourself for the better is simply by doing
small things for yourself everyday.
These things could be:
- Losing weight
- Improving your finances
- Make yourself look attractive
- Treating yourself and the people around you with respect
- Taking steps each day to improve on your flaws
Simply saying you’ll change and things will be better does not equal being so.To show your ex you really are going to change, you need to start putting that change into action.
Adwoa ansah says
My ex and I have been seeing each other for some time now, though it s a long distance relationship, .the problem now is,we are both in a relationship with kids, I asked him how do he sees us in future.the reply was that he hope to break up with the other lady one day but what is holding him back is his kids, my response was until then we should make our contacts short live and minimal as possible, do you think I did the right thing?
My ex and i kept breaking up and getting back together so many times in the short time frame we were together. He was my first everything n i lost my virginity to him…i just cant stop thinking about him everday
He was the one who initiated the first breakup n i was soo so hurt by it, but he quickly realized his mistake n got back together by the end of the night. The second time we broke up, it was kind of complicated bc it rolled out over the course of a few weeks. He suddenly became distant n cold towards me n i didnt know why so i was calling n texting him more than usual…he never got back to me until i sent a text saying its over. We got into a fight n threw words at each other n all i wanted to do was talk through it, but he decided it was better off we not be together. The next month after that was the apsolute worst for me…it was soooooo hard.
Then he called me out of nowhere at midnight n texted all these nice things to me after one full month of not contacting each other at all.
It took me awhile but we eventually got back together again.
The third time we broke up, i was the one to initiate it bc he never texted or called me in two weeks of reconciling…it felt like he was back being cold n distant again n didnt consider my feelings when i said how hurt i was when he did that the first time. I didnt really want to break up…but i didnt want to be with someone who took me for granted even more so i ended it. A week later he started to beg me to explain himself…i said i cant do that n as of now its been about 15 days since hearing from each other.
But i still think about him every single day. I want to be with him, but want to move on at the same time. I just cant get him off my mind.
I love my (ex) with all of my being, I cant stress this enough. But I do not know what to do or where to go from here I am so confused. So here’s how it happened.
I just started hair school 6 months ago and I love it! Before this I was in school for fashion for 2 years. Me and my bf got together my freshman year, and he’s been there ever since. We’ve been through so much together, when he was hospitalized its safe to say I gave up everything, I stopped going to school and work to be at his bedside everyday for a month. This was my decision and I do not regret a moment of it. I threaten to leave him alot I admit that and I promised him that I wouldn’t do it anymore but for me when I get frustrated its easier for me to take a break from what it is that frustrated me. When I say this to him I do not mean it at all but in the moment that’s the easiest thing for me to do, I am emotionally unstable so when things are bad in my eyes they are worse then they actually are. I’m guessing he’s tired of me threatening to leave but this time that is not what I was trying to do. I knew what I was getting into when I started hair school but I basically feel like its unfair to him because I barely have time for him now between work and school I’m at school for 10 hrs a day 3 days a week and the rest of the days I’m working, I just don’t have time. I sent him a long message saying basically that I feel it’s unfair to him and that I feel selfish and how he deserves better but in the end I was saying that if its to much for him he can leave and I understand if he decides to. He took this as me finding an excuse for us to break up but that’s not at all what I was trying to say. I just didn’t want him to feel cheated like he was tricked or something because I’ve been in a relationship like that and because I fell in love with the person I felt I didn’t have a choice but to stay. He wasn’t talking to me for a while then he finally told me that I throw him off when I say things like that and that he was going to stay because he didn’t want to lose me but things didn’t get better after this. Once he said that he still wasn’t talking to me really and when I’d say I love him he would say ” no you dont” like idk what to do. And now I asked him if we could get back to where we were before all of this and that I felt like I was losing him and he didn’t respond. It’s been 2 days and I’m freaking out. I don’t want to lose him I really love that boy and idk what I did but I’d give my life to make things better. I take it as he doesn’t care or he’s found someone else and I can’t do anything about that I just want him to be happy even if its not with me so I’ve erased his number. I’m going to find a way to make it without him, because if he doesn’t want to be here what else can I do right. I thought that our love could withstand anything we promised each other forever and that we would be together no matter what! Apart of me is saying he just needs time and that he will be back but I have to be able cope and heal if he doesn’t. Idk it’s out of my hands at this point. Ill just have to wait and see. But I really want US back.
What if you already chased, begged and pleaded for the first 2 months after the break up and now she doesn’t want to talk to you at all because you pushed her further away. Do you still have a chance and what do you do now?
done it says
focus all that attention inward on yourself and be good to you
It’s been a month since my ex broke up with me. I got frustrated with my ex because I wanted to talk about our problems, and he took it as a joke. I kind of pushed him to break up with me. He did, he has stuck to his guns. During this month, we have seen and spoken to each other. Here is why I am confused.
The first 3 weeks of the break up, my ex was cold, I tried to get him to talk about us, work out our problems but he basically pushed me away. He does love and care for me, this I do not question. He is tired of all our fighting and doesn’t want to be in a relationship.
HE has been getting prank blocked calls and some guy calling him saying “stay away from my girlfriend you fag”. My ex thought it was me. It isn’t.
Last week, I sent the ex a text saying, I am leaving them alone, if you change your mind, you know how to contact me.
Last Monday, I ws in a movie. My ex called during the movie, I didn’t answer. I text back saying “I’m in a movie”. He said “Can you call me later”. I saod “I have nothing to say to you”. He text me to say stop prank calling him he will go to the police etc…I left the movie, called him to say “I isn’t me”. He believes me.
Next day, he agrees to meet up with me. We had a hot chocolate, he paid and it was a great little meeting. Lasted 1.5 hours. Didn’t really talk about the relationship. He asked me a lot of questions.
He said he was shocked by my comment I have nothing to say to you when he called me. I didn’t ask why. was he expecting me to hang around waiting for him? Did he expect me to call him back at a drop of a hat?
Then he admitted to Facebook stalking me. He removed me as a friend but I didn’t realize that some of my post were made public. He was looking recent photos I put up. He also asked who I was waiting for that is coming at the end of February. (I am talking to a guy who I met overseas 2.5 years ago, remained friends but liked each other. They are now moving to Australia). My ex was questioning this, and said I AM NOT GOING TO STOP YOU. I didn’t say anything, I kept my silence.
My ex asked “How many guys have I been sleeping with or met up with”. I replied “You know me, that is not me. I haven’t seen anyone”. He goes, me neither, I am staying single. (1.5 weeks after the break up, he went on a gay sex site. I found out, my heart sank). He has since deleted his account.
Small chit chat, he got a pay rise etc.
He said he was going away on holidays. He asked if I wanted anything. He asked several times. I replied, no thank you. As we got to street level, he said Do you want a hug? I said yes, we hugged and he say bye.
That was 4 days ago. I haven’t heard from him since.
The other night, I went in to his work, he saw me but I didn’t make eye contact with him. I made out i didn’t see him. I looked over and he had a smile on his face (Like, aww he couldn’t stay away from me). I went about the store shopping. I didn’t say hello nor did I go to his register. I could see he was following me around with his eyes. I went to the register on the other side of the store and walked out. I culd see he was cut by that.
That night, his friend posted on facebook. How is everyone going. Don’t be shy. My ex replied ‘****”. (i am friend still with his friend and my ex still has 9 of my friends on his FB.
I am confused as to what the hell happened? He was cold last week, this week all loving.
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