Before we talk about how to get your ex back, we need to understand why your ex resists getting back together even though that seems like the most logical thing to do and also he tells you that he still thinks about you? The reason is ….”Consistency”.
Because he has made a decision, he has to act in consistence with his decision. In Dr Robert Cialdini’s book, he mentioned: ”Social psychology research suggests that taking even a small action creates commitment in us to the position that action represents, and that we will thereafter want to appear to behave in ways that are consistent with that position to both ourselves and others.”
As human beings, subconsciously we tell ourselves to be consistent with our decisions, so that we won’t look like crazy. Because when inconsistency(dissonance) is experienced, we will get stressed psychologically and also experience mental discomfort.
So he could tell you completely illogical reasons for not getting back together with you even though he still loves you and wants to be together.
Some of the reasons he might give:
“I just don’t think it will work”
“I think we are better off being friends”
”You can find someone better than me..”
But in reality, the only thing that is stopping him from getting back with you is ” CONSISTENCY’. His subconscious mind is making up all these reasons because it wants him to stick to the decision made earlier on.
It will also create a defense mechanism for him that makes it hard to let you get through to him.
So, how to overcome this ” consistency ” problem?
Getting through the defenses is something that is very important while interacting with your ex.
Believe it or not, your ex was hurt with the breakup. And he might be expecting you to try to get back with him.
As a result of this, he has created a defense mechanism to protect himself from getting hurt again and to protect his consistency.
He will be nice to you. (Although that’s not always the case). He will try to make you feel better when you talk to him.
But he will put his defenses up as soon as you talk about getting back together.
Like I mentioned before, these defenses are meant to protect the consistency of their decision.
If they break up with you and then get back together the next day, wouldn’t they look crazy to the world?
And you should respect their consistency.
The best seducers in the history of the world never made it obvious that they are the ones seducing their victim.
In fact, in most cases the victim thought they were seducing them.
It was brilliant.
The moment, you ask your ex to get back together you make it obvious what you want. And they put up their defenses that very moment.
On the other hand, if you let it be your ex’s idea to get back together, then their defenses will not interfere.
How do you do that?
You rebuild the attraction. By taking one small step at a time.
The process of getting back together with your ex is just a few basics of psychology combined with some advanced practical techniques.