You might have wondered if your ex would ever regret breaking up with you or how long it takes for your ex to regret leaving you. It is perfectly normal to want to know the answers to these questions. I have been there and I understand how you feel.
Perhaps, some of you might even have thought to yourself that you would make your ex regret his or her decision to break up with you one day.
But, how do you do that?
Before we go into the details about how to make your ex regret letting you go, let’s first take a look at the definition of regret and how it works in the context of relationship.
So, what is regret?
Regret is defined as ”a feeling of sadness about something sad or wrong or about a mistake that you have made, and a wish that it could have been different and better.”
In the case of breakups, your ex would probably experience regret when he/ she realizes it was a huge mistake to leave you.
Signs That Your Ex Regrets Breaking Up With You
Let’s take a look at the some of the most common signs that indicate that your ex is actually regretting initiating the breakup.
Your Ex Tells You Either Indirectly or Directly That He/ She Regrets Leaving You
No doubt, the most obvious sign would be that your ex tells you directly that he or she thinks it was a mistake to end the relationship and wants to get back together again. But, more often than not, your ex would be indirect and more subtle when it comes to hinting that he or she is having second thoughts about breaking up with you.
For example, if your ex tells you that he/ she is not happy with the new partner and he or she enjoys talking and hanging out together with you, it is very likely that your ex is feeling regret about ending the relationship.
Your Ex Says That He Or She Misses You
Another clear sign that your ex might be having doubts about the breakup decision is that your ex would say that he/ she misses you very much and still loves you.
Time apart from you might have made your ex realize that a life without you is unbearable and miserable.
However, bear in mind that it could also be that your ex is just feeling lonely and bored.
So, don’t make the mistake of equating ”I miss you” with ”I want you back’ before you are certain that your ex genuinely wants you back.
Because the feeling of missing someone could be temporary and it can disappear very soon, especially when it arises from loneliness.
Your Ex Brings Up Good Old Memories
I am going to assume that you are still in contact with your ex and might still hang out together from time to time.
If your ex constantly reminisces about all those happy and memorable events from your relationship, it is an indication that your ex misses all the good old times when you two were still together.
Otherwise, why would your ex even bother to bring it up?
So, it might imply that your ex wants to go back to when everything between you and your ex seemed so perfect.
Your Ex Finds Excuses To Meet Up With You
Did you notice that your ex is trying to come up with all sorts of excuses to meet up with you? Some of the excuses are so flimsy that you are certain your ex made it up.
For example, your ex might tell you that his or her parents want to invite you along for a short getaway or your ex might tell you that he or she cannot take back all the stuff from your place at one go.
If your ex is looking for ways to see you, it only means one thing which is that your ex misses you and wants to get back together.
Your Ex Wants To Know If You Are Seeing Someone New
Your ex would message you to see how you are doing and ask you whether you are dating anyone at the moment or has the intention of jumping into another relationship.
Why would your ex want to know about your love life after breakup?
One of the possible reasons is that your ex might be having second thoughts about leaving you and is worried that you might be moving on to a new relationship.
But the regret your ex is feeling might not be strong enough to make him or her want to rekindle the relationship. That is why your ex is not making a move to get you back.
Reasons That Your Ex Might Regret Ending The Relationship
What are some of the possible reasons why your ex might feel regret leaving you?
In the following section, I will help you understand what your ex is thinking and why he or she is having doubts about the breakup decision.
Your Ex Sees You’ve Moved On But They Are Stuck Where They Were
When you focus on your own life and constantly improve yourself after breakup, your ex will see the positive changes in you.
- Your ex might see that you’ve lost a few pounds and look more fit
- Your ex might see that you look more attractive and confident
- Your ex might see that you are having fun with friends and really enjoying yourself
- Your ex might see that you are doing very well in your career or business
- Your ex might see that you are making a lot of new friends of the opposite sex
- Your ex might see that other people are showing interest in you
In contrast, your ex is still stuck where he or she was. There is nothing exciting about your ex’s life. No new relationships. No progress in career or business. Definitely not having as much fun as you.
Seeing you moving on and doing much better makes your ex question the decision to end the relationship.
Grass Is Not Greener On The Other Side
Your ex might have broken up with you because they thought there is someone better out there for them. In other words, your ex was having the ”grass is always greener on the other side” syndrome.
However, grass is not always greener on the other side. Time and experience might have taught your ex a lesson on that.
For example, your ex left you for someone else, but over time he or she realized that you are so much better than the new partner. You and your ex have more things in common, you can make each other laugh and you know what your ex wants to say before they open their mouth.
Sometimes, it takes dating the wrong person for your ex to appreciate what you two had.
Your Ex Tries To Protect Themselves By Breaking Up First
Some exes have had their heart broken before, therefore they have become very protective of themselves from getting hurt again.
When they sense that you are pulling away and acting distant and cold, they might think that you are going to dump them very soon.
So, they would initiate the breakup to protect themselves.
However, it might be a premature and ill-thought out decision to end the relationship without finding out the real reason why you were behaving that way. It could just be that you were going through a rough time but you chose not to tell your ex about it.
Often, when your ex realizes that breaking up has never crossed your mind and you were still very much in love with him or her, then your ex would regret making such a hasty decision to leave you.
Your Ex Figured That It Would Not Work Out & Decided To End It Without Talking To You
Sometimes, your ex would imagine the worse scenario that could happen, and then convince himself or herself that the relationship would not work out in the end. Perhaps, there is religious difference or cultural difference between two of you. Perhaps, it was a long distance relationship.
Without even talking to you about what they thought about the relationship, your ex alone decided that it would be best to go separate ways now than later on.
In hindsight, your ex might regret not discussing his or her concerns with you before making the decision. Had your ex heard what you have got to say before breaking up with you, your ex would know how hard you were willing to fight for the relationship and make it work.
How To Make Your Ex Regret
Sometimes, your ex would come to the realization himself or herself that breaking up with you was a big mistake. It could take them a short period of time or a long time to feel regret about leaving you.
Here, I am going to show you some of the ways to make your ex regret about the breakup a bit sooner.
No Contact Rule
For those who are not familiar with no contact rule, I am going to briefly touch on the definition and purpose of no contact rule again.
Basically, no contact rule means that you should completely cut off all kinds of communication with your ex for a certain period of time. Normally, it works best if you can stick to this no contact rule for 3 to 5 weeks.
The purposes of no contact rule are threefold:
- It gives time for your ex to miss you. If you constantly keep in touch with your ex or even meet up with your ex regularly, your ex would have no chance to miss you.
- Breakups are painful and emotionally draining. You can use this period of time to work on yourself and get yourself out of the depressing state of mind. This is because being an emotional wreck is not going to help get your ex back.
- Your ex is probably expecting you to beg him or her to take you back. But when you are doing the opposite of what your ex thought you would do, it will make your ex wonder what is going on and it will also take your ex off the pedestal.
So, what important role does no contact rule play in making your ex regret letting you go?
First, I am going to assume that your ex is emotionally dependent on you during your relationship. That means you were fulfilling a lot of his or her emotional needs when you were with your ex.
For example, you were the person that your ex can confide in. Or, you were always there to support and encourage your ex whenever he or she was faced with challenges or problems. Or, you were the person who accepts and appreciates your ex for whom he or she really is.
You can see that this could also be the reason why your ex might still want to stay as best friends or keep in touch even after breakup.
When you cut off contact with your ex, it effectively stops your ex from getting his or her emotional needs met through you.
When your ex realizes that he/ she can no longer depend on you to meet his or her emotional needs, your ex is going to start feeling the urge to get you back into his or her life again.
Make Your Ex See What He/ She Is Missing Out
Just imagine what your ex’s reaction would be when your ex sees a more successful and more attractive and confident version of you after breakup.
Yes, you are right.
Your ex is probably going to beat himself or herself up for breaking up with you in the first place.
There is a famous saying ”Best Revenge Is Massive Success”.
When we talk about massive success, it can come from a number of areas:
By hitting the gym more often and following a strict diet, you lost the extra pounds that you have always wanted to drop. Now, you look more fit and feel more energetic and confident.
On top of that, with a revamp of wardrobe and a change of hairstyle, you will make yourself more attractive and also make you feel good about yourself.
Career Advancement/ Business Success
A job promotion or launching a successful business can give you a huge boost of self-confidence. Confidence is one of the most attractive traits in a person. When your ex sees that you are doing very well financially, he/ she is certainly going to feel regret, especially if your ex’s own life is at a standstill.
Let say, you broke up with your ex. Some time later, you found out that your ex was making hundred thousands of dollars or even millions and driving fancy cars and staying in big houses while you were still working a boring job and earning a miserable pay.
How would that make you feel?
Would you wonder what your life would be like if you had not dumped your ex?
Re-build Connection With Your Ex
After you have successfully completed the no contact period, the next step would be to re-build connection with your ex.
How do we do that?
If your ex didn’t contact you during the no contact period, it is okay. There is no need to overthink it. All you need to do is to initiate contact with your ex. The preferred method would be texting because it is more casual than phone call.
When you text your ex, there are do’s and dont’s that you need to remember:
- Don’t bombard your ex with text messages when you don’t receive a reply right away
- Don’t send generic and boring text messages to your ex because it won’t make your ex want to respond
- Don’t sound desperate and needy in your text message
- Do keep your text messages funny and light
- Do make the conversation engaging and focus on your ex because that way your ex would be interested in keeping the conversation going
- Do end the conversation when you sense it is going nowhere instead of letting it die
If you get a good response from your ex during your first few contact, then it is time to remind your ex some of the good old memories that two of you share. Remember to do it in a subtle and casual way because you don’t want your ex to put his or her guard up.
I am going to teach you a very useful tip that can help you make your ex look forward to hearing from you.
How do we do it?
When you text with your ex, it is important for you to be the one to end the conversation at the high point.
What does it mean? It means that when your ex is completely engrossed in your conversation or is having a good time talking to you via text, then it is your cue to cut the conversation short. That way, your ex cannot wait to talk to you again.
I understand you might be tempted to keep the conversation going because you want to keep talking to your ex. But, you need to look at the big picture and always remember your goal which is to make your ex want you back.
Also, it is equally important to try to create new and pleasant memories with your ex. One way you can approach this is to find out what your ex has always wanted to do and then make plans to do it together with him or her.
Meeting Your Ex In Person
There will be a time when you are ready to meet your ex in person after breakup. Seeing your ex in person and talking to your ex can be very different. Your posture, your words and your expression can tell your ex a lot about you.
So, it is important to look composed, happy and polite when you meet up with your ex. I understand that seeing your ex for the first time in a while can be a bit emotional and can bring back a lot of memories. That is why you need to prepare yourself mentally beforehand for the meet up.