So, what’s the best way to contact your ex after no contact for quite some time?
I would recommend texting over calling because you have time to think about what to reply if you talk to your ex via text, and you don’t have to worry about any awkward moments when both of you run out of things to say to each other. After all, you have not been seeing each other for quite some time after breakup.
Besides that, you might risk sounding desperate or sad over the phone when you talk to your ex. I am assuming that you still have strong feelings for him. In that case, you should absolutely go for text as the chances of you messing up will significantly diminish.
You should only make the phone call when you are very sure that you are in a good emotional state.
Remember the 4 rules that I mentioned above and follow them when you text your ex. That way, I am certain that you will be on the right path to rebuilding the connection with your ex.
What Exactly To Say To Your Ex In The Text?
A lot of readers wrote to me that they are having trouble finding things to say to their ex and also keeping the conversation going. Sometimes, you can tell that your ex is not interested to reply to your text or your ex just gives you very short reply.
How do we deal with this situation?
If you sense that your ex is losing interest in continuing the conversation, you should just quickly cut the conversation short. By keeping the conversation going, you will only make him feel annoyed.
Below is a collection of ‘ Text From Ex’. This is NOT a good example to follow. This is just to help you lighten up a bit before we move on to the real stuff.
5 Different Types Of Text Messages
There are different types of text messages that you can use to help you get your ex back after breakup. Each type of text message serves a unique purpose. It should be used as part of your plan to salvage your relationship with your ex and get him to view the relationship as something worth fighting for.
Text Messages That Help Start A Conversation With Your Ex
This type of text messages helps you get a conversation started with your ex after you haven’t talked to each other for a while. Warning: You shouldn’t put a lot of pressure on your ex to reply to your text message because your ex might not be ready to start talking again.
Forcing your ex to respond to your messages might push him/her further away and make your ex dread about receiving your text messages. But let’s not forget our goal which is to start a conversation. So, the right way to do it is to write text messages in a way that can give your ex an opportunity to respond if he/she wants to.
As this is the first contact after you have successfully followed “No Contact Rule“, your ex will definitely be wondering your purpose of texting him/her without a doubt. So, you wouldn’t want to be very forward and don’t give him the clue that you want him back just yet.
A big NO NO is to be inquisitive about his dating status. Also don’t ask your ex out for coffee or lunch yet!
Good Example: I am headed out to XXX this weekend. It reminds me of the crazy trip we did.
Good Example: I just came across a picture of us inside the hurricane simulator booth at the mall. Always makes me laugh. It made me think of you for the first time in a while. Hope you are doing great.
Text Messages That Put Positive Thoughts And Memories In Your Ex’s Mind
we want to use this type of text messages to bring back the good memories in the your ex’s mind and make your ex start thinking about all the fun things you two have done together. This is vital to help win your ex back becaue you are essentially letting your ex relive the good old times when your relationship was fun, flirtatious and exciting. So, you need to use personal experience to customize your text message.
Good Example: Ha. Remember the time when we were in XXX and we ended up wearing those stupid bear suits. I just found a picture. You look good in that panda suit.
Good Example: Hey, really quick. What is the name of the restaurant with the best lamb shank we went for your 28th birthday?
Text Messages That Boost Intimacy With Your Ex
You can use this type of message especially when you know that your ex is going through some tough times. It shows that you are always there for your ex and you are always on their side. It brings two of you instantly closer.
Good Example: Hey, was thinking that you must be really stressed about your exam next week. Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you. I know you will do great.
Text Messages That Create Positive Jealousy In Your Ex
It is a tricky to use this type of text message because if you are using it wrong, you might mess things up. I want to emphasize on the words ‘ positive jealousy’. This type of text message will show that you are okay with the breakup and you are out meeting new people and not sitting at home and crying your eyes out.
The rationale is that you will become more attractive and desirable when your ex experience a twinge of jealousy that comes from knowing that other people find you attractive post-breakup. This tactic is called social proof which is very powerful. When other people find you attractive and fun, your ex is more likely to see you the same way as well.
However, you need to be subtle in your text message. All you need to do is to hint that you are out with someone and had a good time and your ex’s mind will take care of the rest by filling in the details. You will be getting into your ex’s mind without him/her realizing it.
Good Example: I just saw XXX( A Romance Movie) with a friend. You should see it. I think you would really enjoy it.
Text Messages That Turn Your Ex On
You only use this type of messages when you are sure that things with your ex are getting better in the right direction. The timing needs to be right because you wouldn’t want to get into bed with your ex only to find out that your ex feels that it might have been a big mistake the next morning.
Good Example: I remember that XXX brand cologn you always wear when we go out. It still turns me on.
Good Example: Hey babe. I just got out of the shower and started massaging my body lotion all over me. I got hot thinking about something you do to me…