Whatever the reason your boyfriend gave you when he broke up with you, I am certain that it is NOT the real reason why he left.
Guys tend to give lousy breakup reasons because it is just easier to do it that way. He was afraid that you would not be able to take it very well if he told you the truth.
By “not taking it very well”, I mean that you might go crazy and hurt him physically. Here are some of the really bad breakup reasons guys have told their girlfriends:
The No. 1 overused and cliche breakup excuse is the notorious “It’s not you, it’s me“. Guys who use this excuse really need to work on their creativity and originality.
What they are trying to achieve with this excuse is that they want to put all the blame of relationship failure on themselves and soften the blow to the girl. That way, they also feel less guilty about ending it. What they actually mean is that “It’s actually you“. They just don’t feel the same way as you do about them.
”I need my space” is a nicer way of saying that you are smothering them and they want their freedom back.
If you are the control freak type of girlfriend and always need to know where your boyfriend is and who he is hanging out with, then this breakup should serve as a wake-up call to you if you don’t want your future relationships to end just like the last one.
Guys will instinctively pull back when they sense that the girlfriend wants to know his every move. Some girlfriends might even message or call the boyfriend many time a day.
Being controlling and possessive inevitably drive guys away from you. It is just a sign of feeling insecure and that is NOT attractive at all. You need to understand that they need their own social circle and they need to feel that you trust them when they are out with their buddies or colleagues.
”Work/school is crazy. I don’t have time for a relationship right now”. This somewhat sounds genuine but it is actually a well-disguised excuse to end the relationship.
If he really likes you enough, he will find time to be with you. There is always time for anything. It is just a matter of whether you are willing to make time for it or not. When you are given this kind of reason, you should know that it is not work or school, it is you.
”I think we should see other people”. Ouch, every time a guy says this, it just means that he doesn’t want to be in an exclusive relationship with you. He still wants the freedom to fool around and date other girls.
One possibility is that he met someone else who he is quite interested in. If this is true, he would most likely deny it if you confront him. It should be easy to find evidence of him seeing another girl if you know where to look(i.e. facebook & twitter activities). If there isn’t someone else, then I hate to say that it is you. He is just not that into you any more.
”You are too good for me”. This is a very polite way of rejection by making the dumper as the bad guy and portraying the dump-ee in a positive light.
I understand what you might be thinking right now. It simply doesn’t make sense coming out of his mouth. Why would a guy want to leave someone who is more than what he is asking for and want to settle for less?
Sometimes, it might be true that he feels that he cannot match up to you because of his low self-esteem or because of his situation( such as jobless, low income, personal issues and etc). In this case, it is up to you if you want to salvage the relationship because he might still be in love with you but he feels that you deserve much better.
Another possible explanation is that he is afraid of hurting you down the road because he feels that you are much more committed to the relationship than he is and you love him more than he loves you. He is worried that he might disappoint you in the end. Whichever the case is, you need to figure out if this is a genuine reason or it is just another bullshit excuse.
Let’s hear about what real guys are saying about the real reason they broke up with their girlfriend:
Simply put, the real reason why guys broke up with you is that they are not attracted to you any more. Imagine, if he was still attracted to you, he would NOT say that he is going through a lot now with work/family/school and he doesn’t have time for a relationship.
He would NOT say you are too good for me. He would NOT say that he is trying to find himself and he needs to be alone to do that. He would NOT say that he is not over his ex. Now, do you get what I mean? No matter how convincing and logical his reason sounds, don’t get fooled by it. They know deep down that the truth is they have lost interest in you.
Maybe it is time for some self-reflection. Are you doing any of the things below to make it harder for your boyfriend to stay in love with you?
Are you always the negative one in the relationship?
Are you the positive and optimistic type of girl? If you are to be with a negative person who is always complaining about work/friends/family, do you think you would feel happy around this person?
It is just natural that we all enjoy staying around people who are happy and cheerful and make us laugh and get away from people who are depressed and angry all the time. If you find yourself gossiping or complaining most of the time around your boyfriend, you should start making conscious efforts to stop doing that. It is always good to share happy thoughts and funny experience with your other half.
Are you starting to care less about your appearance?
When we are single, we always make efforts to make ourselves look pretty and sexy by religiously following the latest fashion trends.
Once we are in a stable relationship, some of us begin to slack off when it comes to our personal appearance because we already have the guy of our dreams by our side. There is no more motivation for us to dress up for a date with our boyfriend.
What might be worse is that some ladies just stop watching their weight and stop going to the gym. But let’s not forget that guys are immensely visual creatures. It sounds shallow, I know, but it is true. Men are generally more interested and responsive to visually appealing women.
When you couldn’t care less about your own appearance, there might be another pretty girl that has caught his attention at work or at a party.
Are you the naggy type of girlfriend?
Some of the girls couldn’t help but slowly turn into the nagging-type of girlfriend. I must tell you that guys really hate it when their girlfriends nag at them nonstop. It only reminds him of his mother.
He is a grown man and he can make his own decision. You don’t need to tell him what to do and what not to do all the time. The only reason you nag at your boyfriend is because you want everything to go your way. It doesn’t hurt to compromise a little.
It also doesn’t hurt to find other ways to bring your point across instead of nagging because nagging at your boyfriend doesn’t more harm to your relationship than you can imagine.
Are you the ultra-jealous and ultra-suspicious type of girlfriend?
This is every guy’s nightmare. Living with an ultra- jealous and ultra-suspicious girlfriend will drive guys crazy sooner than you think. I have to admit a little jealousy can actually help enrich the relationship and bring couples closer, but excessive jealousy can do the opposite.
If your boyfriend is feeling very stressed and scared about dealing with your jealousy and unfounded suspicion, then it is a sign that you are slowly destroying your relationship. So, you need to know where to draw the line.
Signs that you might be the easily jealous girlfriend:
When you and your boyfriend are in a restaurant, your boyfriend smiles at the waitress and it makes you unhappy. When you are shopping with your boyfriend, he jokes with the cashier and it upsets you.
The other day, one of my girl friends told me a story. She and her boyfriend went on a double date with another couple. My friend is the chatty and easy going type. She was chatting with the other girl’s boyfriend and laughing at his jokes. Apparently it really got on the other girl’s nerves and this girl snapped at her boyfriend for making stupid jokes.
You get paranoid when your boyfriend doesn’t reach home straight after work. One of my friend’s girlfriend once did something crazy.
When her boyfriend told her that he would be out to have a drink with buddies, she got suspicious that he was lying, so she demanded him to send photos of him and his buddy drinking as proof. Similar episodes have happened again and again. Soon after, the boyfriend couldn’t take it any more and broke up with her for good.
You will regularly check your boyfriend’s phone and Facebook to see if there is any evidence of him cheating on you. Any missed call from unknown number or any messages after work just smell like cheating to you. This is not only a sign of insecurity and low self-confidence, but it also shows there is distrust in the relationship.