So, what do you do if your ex blocks you and you have absolutely no way of contacting your ex?
Before we jump straight to talk about what you should do when your ex blocks you and how to get your ex to unblock you, we need to figure out first why they want to block you in the first place.
You see, no one would want to block anyone for no reason at all.
For instance, have you ever blocked a telemarketer’s telephone number before? Chances are you probably have. So why did you block the number? Most likely because this type of calls are annoying to you and are nothing but a waste of your time.
For example, when I block someone, it is usually because that person is annoying me or infuriated me to such an extent that I don’t want to talk to that person any more. If that person does not annoy me, then I have absolutely no reason to block them!
Now, let’s come back to the context of your ex blocking you after breakup. When you are the one who didn’t want the breakup in the first place, it definitely feels harsh when you find out that your ex has blocked you.
So why does your ex block you? Here are the main reasons why:
You broke up with your Ex and They Want To Heal And Move On
This is one of the most common reasons for your ex to block you (i.e. on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Whatsapp, Skype, etc.). So why is that? Simply because it makes it much easier for your ex to heal and move on.
To your ex, it is just too hard to see your updates and photos on these social media websites. Also, when you two were still together, you used to comment on all their postings all the time. But now that you two have broken up, and your ex knows that you can see what they have posted but you do not comment on it, it would be very hurtful for them. So they would rather block you out then wonder if you would make any comments on it.
By blocking you after your breakup, your ex made a conscious decision not to see your profile updates, and therefore no longer gets reminded of you constantly.
To your ex, every reminder of you or the relationship would probably make them depressed, angry or confused. And it is hindering their healing process.
Apart from that, blocking you on all social media sites might be an effective way for your ex to stop himself/herself from being obsessed with you and checking you out constantly.. We all know how tempting it is to see what our ex has been up to on Social Media sites (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.)
Actually, there is a silver lining here. If your ex needs to take such measures to move on from the recent breakup, it might mean that your ex is having a difficult time getting over you and they probably still has feelings for you.
Your Ex Doesn’t Want You To Contact Them
When you first find out that your ex has blocked you, I understand that you must be utterly shocked and couldn’t believe that your ex would actually do this to you.
Let’s take a step back and think back about what it is that you did that could have made your ex want to block you.
Are you guilty of sending or posting angry messages to your ex and their social media profiles?
Have you been confronting your ex every time you see your ex adding a good-looking friend of the opposite sex, or you see photos of your ex having a good time with someone of the opposite sex?
Have you been texting your ex nonstop, especially if you don’t receive a reply after a while?
Or, have you been continuously begging and pleading with your ex to come back to you?
If you are doing any of the above, then it’s no surprise if you ex have blocked you.
In order to understand what they are thinking, you have to put yourself in your ex’s shoes for a moment. Imagine you were your ex.
Would you find it annoying if someone were to do such things to you? Most likely so right?
When you are doing such things to annoy your ex, you are essentially giving your ex no choice to block you.
So, what should you do?
First, you should stop doing any more damage to your situation by leaving your ex alone. Right now, your ex associates you with all the bad experience and bad feelings. What we need to do is to break this undesirable association. This is the first step.
The second step would be to re-establish a new and favorable association, and associating you with good experience and good feelings. One way to do it is through text messaging. By strategically using certain words in your texts to your ex, you can put good memories and thoughts into your ex’s mind and get them to see you in a favorable light.
Your Ex Is Dating Someone New
Another possible reason why your ex blocked you is that your ex is probably dating someone new. Your ex is afraid that you would find out about their new relationship so they block you to prevent you from finding out as they’re afraid you would go all crazy and confront them about it.
Blocking you on all social media sites is one way for your ex to avoid all the uncomfortable confrontations, and also prevent you from possibly jeopardizing their new found relationship.
I had a female client who got into a relationship with a guy who was from another country when he was transferred to the same country as my female client for a short time. During this time they travelled together and spent holidays with each other’s family. Things were going well until this guy got relocated back to his own country.
My client was very upset about the news but she was determined to give the long distance relationship a try. A couple of months later, the guy suddenly broke up with her over the phone, saying that he didn’t think it was working and they were better off as friends.
Not long after the breakup, my client saw photos of him with another girl holding hands on Facebook. Shortly after that photo was posted, and she realized that she got blocked by her ex on Facebook after she asked him about the new girl in the photo.
In this case, her ex chose the easy way out by blocking her because he didn’t know how to face my client, and how to handle her questions and confrontations about him dating someone new.
What do you do if your ex is actually dating someone new? I have written a very detailed post about how to get your ex back if they are with someone else here.
Your Ex Is Hurt And Angry At You
The act of blocking you could also indicate that your ex might be hurt, and is angry at you for what you did to them. It is your ex’s way of venting their anger, and also getting back at you.
One of my readers wrote to me that she would block her boyfriend on Facebook and delete his boyfriend’s phone number whenever they had a fight or argument. She did this out of anger and revenge. Not only girls do it, but some guys tend to do this as well.
It might look like a very childish and impulsive act. But, breakups are emotional and people do impulsive things that help them cope with the emotional stress.
So, what should you do in this case?
Don’t make the mistake of confronting your ex about why they blocked you. This is because when you do that, you will either get ignored or you will irritate your ex even more.
The right thing to do is to give your ex time and space. When your ex is angry at you, they would not be able to think and reason logically. As time passes, your ex’s anger towards you will slowly subside. You just need to wait for the right time to initiate contact.
Your Ex Is Using The No Contact Rule On You
Your ex could be using the no contact rule on you. By blocking you on all social media sites and phones and emails, your ex intends to cut off all communication channels. This could be a good sign for you if you are looking to get back together with your ex.
Why is that?
People who use no contact rule generally fall into two categories:
1) People who want to reconcile with their ex
2) People who are having difficulties getting over the breakup.
The first case is obviously the most favorable scenario for you if you are thinking about getting back with your ex.
If your ex falls into the first category, what you should expect to see is that your ex might unblock you and re-initiate contact with you after some time (typically one to two months later at most).
If your ex falls into the second category, more often than not it means that your ex still has feelings for you. By going no contact, it helps your ex take their mind off you and slowly recover from the breakup.
Your Ex Doesn’t Want To Talk To You Again
This is the least favorable scenario of all so far. For your ex to never want to talk to you again, there must be something that you have said or done that pushed your ex to make this decision of cutting all contact with you for good.
Below are two of the most common reasons that your ex might never want to speak to you again.
- You cheated on your ex.
- You ended the relationship on bad terms.
- They feel annoyed at you constantly harassing them to get back with them.
If you cheated on your ex, then it justifies why your ex blocks you. They are probably very hurt by your actions and if any thoughts of you just leads to more pain for them. So rather than face all the pain, they choose to block you to erase you out of their life.
If you both ended the relationship on bad terms, then it could be that your ex feels that it is just too painful to deal with anything else that has to do with you. At this point, you should let your ex calm down and wait for them to reinitiate contact with you once they have really cooled down and thought things through.
The third situation is the most common situation by far. You cannot accept that the breakup has happened and you are fighting desperately to keep the relationship with your ex. But in such attempts, you are actually “pushing” your ex and this annoys them.
What you should do in this case is to really just step back, take a breather, and stop contacting them. Constantly contacting them would only irritate them even more, and make them even more convinced that their decision to block you was the right thing to do.
So if you have been constantly harassing your ex to reconsider your relationship with them and to get back with you, then you have to stop doing it right now. Telling them to get back with you will not get them back with you.
The first step is to let them feel safe to be in contact with you again and you do that by not contacting them at all. After some time, they will think that you have really gotten over them and possibly contact you again.
The good news is that most of the time your ex doesn’t really mean it when they say that they never want to talk to you again.
During breakups, most of us cannot think logically, and we often say things we don’t really mean it. With time, we will calm down emotionally, and bad memories would also become blurred. We just need to be patient enough.